Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 13, 2024, 03:01:57 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
High conflict couple book?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: High conflict couple book? (Read 398 times)
coasterhusband
Offline
Posts: 99
High conflict couple book?
«
on:
July 16, 2013, 09:04:15 PM »
I know "high conflict couple" has been a suggested read on this site, but is that book good to read together or suggest to a uPWBPD?
I thought I'd read elsewhere on the forum that it was basically a book about BPD without mentioning "BPD".
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
emotionaholic
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 226
Re: High conflict couple book?
«
Reply #1 on:
July 16, 2013, 09:09:51 PM »
I'm not sure yet if it is a good book. I was hoping it was going to be in my mailbox when I got home today. I know both the authors specialize in BPD and have been told it is a good way to address the issues around BPD without mentioning it. I look forward to reading it.
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
Re: High conflict couple book?
«
Reply #2 on:
July 16, 2013, 09:17:45 PM »
Depends on your RS and how open your partner is to conflict resolution. It is not a book about BPD specifically,but simply High conflict relationships in general. So you will not be "letting the cat out of the bag" if you share it.
Emphaisis is about how we interact with each other, not how one partner copes with a disordered partner. It is unlikely a pwBPD will take a lot of the ideas on board in the middle of dysregulation, but it could soothe a lot of the interactions before they get to that stage. It will be definitely be of value to you.
Review here
The High Conflict Couple
You will find lots of useful book reviews on the book review board
Book Reviews
Logged
Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Chosen
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1479
Re: High conflict couple book?
«
Reply #3 on:
July 16, 2013, 09:50:25 PM »
I have read the book and find it helpful. I read it alone and find that you can benefit from reading it alone.
However, if I remember correctly, your wife is not diagnosed, and doesn't think anything is wrong with her. So she may likely think that you suggesting to read the book together means you want to put the blame on her (black & white thinking, remember?).
Unless she's at the stage where she thinks there are conflicts in the relationship but doesn't know how to solve them (even if she is still refusing to take responsibility as yet), I think offering her the book may backfire.
Logged
waverider
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7405
If YOU don't change, things will stay the same
Re: High conflict couple book?
«
Reply #4 on:
July 16, 2013, 11:23:58 PM »
Before you share any literature it is always best to vet it first
Logged
Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
briefcase
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 18 years, together 20 years, still living together
Posts: 2150
Re: High conflict couple book?
«
Reply #5 on:
July 18, 2013, 01:32:58 PM »
I've read the book and found it helpful. It does not mention BPD and it has a great section on validation. You should read it first, and then decide whether its something your partner might be open to reading.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
High conflict couple book?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...