Distortion Campaigns

[Snapple]

I am currently being targeted by my ex who is waging a pretty long and drawn out distortion campaign against me. I want to talk to others who have dealt with this or are dealing with this now. Thanks.  

[clashreality]

Yes. I am expecting this to get started soon if it's not already happening. I'd really like to know how others dealt with it!

[Want2know]

I am currently being targeted by my ex who is waging a pretty long and drawn out distortion campaign against me.

Can you share some detail with us about your situation?  Is your job in jeopardy, are the police/courts involved, etc.?

[trevjim]

my expwBPD family when we split were really supportive to me at first, said they are there if I need anything and to keep up the contact with them as they are very fond of me, this is on her mum and he dads side (they are divorced)

however about a week later I get the cold shoulder from both of them, and they ignored any contact I made. Its pretty obvious to me my ex smeared me to them, probably to make her gettin with her current boyfriend so soon less of a bad thing.

[Snapple]

Yes, trevjim, I have experienced the same thing. Friends that I would confide in while we together, in an effort to gain help and support, about what was going on, have since told him things that I said to them. I am quite sure though it was only after he wiggled it out of them. Things become distorted pretty quickly like this. I have def experienced the cold shoulder. Even from people that I do not even know.  :'(

[Snapple]

Hey there Want2know. My job is not in jeopardy that I know of. Not in court yet. I do not want to go there. It scares me how convincing he is to people, and how he recruits others to spread his lies. My story is so long... .  I am not sure where to start. I will just start with some basics. We have been apart for almost 4 years. When I first left him, he immediately started rumours about me. I found out too that he had already been smearing me before we split. Telling people out right lies. For example... .  he told his bandmates (he is a musician) that I was making him quit music. When in all actuality it was the counselor that wanted him to quit for just 6 weeks, so he could complete some of his assignments that the counselor was giving him. The music thing was always his excuse to the couselor as to why he could not complete the things the counselor was asking him to do. He told many of my friends that I secretly hated them, and talked about them. He told many of my female friends that I thought that they wanted him. When in all actuality he was telling me to watch out for them because they were flirting with him behind my back.

Ok, that is a start... .  let's just say... .  it's gotten alot worse. Take this in... .  I will go on with more as we continue to talk. I must get to work now. Thanks.

[Want2know]

4 years is a long time for him to still be talking about you to others.  I'm assuming you live in the same town and have a lot of mutual friends.  I was in the same boat as you regarding that, if this is your situation now.

Something I've told myself when I found out stuff like what you mention is that if people choose to believe him, then they are not worth my effort.  Those who are true friends, and are realistic in understanding the dynamics will know that they are lies.

If this is not jeopardizing your job or involving any legal issue, then this is something you may just have to come to terms with.  You know the truth, and your true friends know the truth.  That is what's important. 

[asunder]

It's just awful.  This is something I never thought my wBPD was capable of.  I responded pretty aggressively at first, sending facebook messages to mutual friends and family explaining that she was having sex with a stranger (yes, I worded it exactly like that) just a few weeks before our family was due to be reunited.  The very next day I was arrested at work on a false accusation of domestic violence (she claimed that I threw a beer mug at her head).  I had to spend the night in prison... .  the worst night of my life.

[Snapple]

It is awful asunder. I have spent so much time defending my self socially, that people probably think I am crazy. Want2know-Yes, we do live in the same town and have the same friends. We are both well known musicians in our area too. Your statements are very correct. My real friends know what is up. Many people can see right through his lies, but it still causes me alot of heartache having to answer to the stuff he spreads around. He makes himself look like such a victim. Many other people buy it. His latest rant on facebook stated that he was gonna take me to court for slandering him! Unfortunately I befriended someone that was dating a male friend of mine, and she is not mentally stable. She became angry with me about something unrelated to my ex, but decided to go to my ex and tell him things I was saying about him... .  very distorted versions of course. I do not talk about my ex to anyone, unless he has attacked me in some way... .  which has happened alot. Then I only say what I have to in defense of myself. It is a vicious cycle. I actulally tried to reach out to him via phone after his latest rant to try and come to an understanding and put this gossip crap to rest. He refused my calls, and then put up yet another rant of how I was harrassing him by phone and I needed to back off. Unbelievable. I have decided that from now on when anyone tells me anything about anything that he is saying or doing, my standard response is gonna be... .  "who is that?" I do not know who you are talking about." He told me when I left him that he would have his revenge. He wasn't lieing about that... .