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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: I don't give up...  (Read 557 times)
Perfidy
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« on: December 27, 2013, 11:23:06 AM »

I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not afraid of anything. Whatever I find worthy of the precious moments of my life I put my all into it. I stay until the last dog is hung. My strength is my weakness. Not knowing when to quit. It nearly drove me to my death. I'm satisfied. I know I did the best I could.
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Mutt
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« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2013, 12:36:50 PM »

I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not afraid of anything. Whatever I find worthy of the precious moments of my life I put my all into it. I stay until the last dog is hung. My strength is my weakness. Not knowing when to quit. It nearly drove me to my death. I'm satisfied. I know I did the best I could.

My sentiments exactly Perfidy. I had always never quit on anything but it's my weakness as well.

Now I know that I can't apply that to everything and know when to throw in the towel and not engage in crazy making behavior.
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Learning_curve74
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2014, 11:28:06 PM »

I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not afraid of anything. Whatever I find worthy of the precious moments of my life I put my all into it. I stay until the last dog is hung. My strength is my weakness. Not knowing when to quit.

I totally identify with the above. I am a stubborn ass, and I've always felt that is the only reason I have accomplished anything.

Unfortunately a relationship between two people is forged by the actions of two separate people, and I can only take care of my side.



It nearly drove me to my death. I'm satisfied. I know I did the best I could.

Isn't that all we can do, just do our best? It also sucks when doing our best fails. I wonder if you or me have/had an inner self that is afraid to be found wanting.
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ucmeicu2
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« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2014, 12:11:08 AM »

I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not afraid of anything. Whatever I find worthy of the precious moments of my life I put my all into it. I stay until the last dog is hung. My strength is my weakness. Not knowing when to quit. It nearly drove me to my death. I'm satisfied. I know I did the best I could.

my strength is my weakness.  been there, done that.  so profound.
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Perfidy
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« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2014, 12:12:39 AM »

I don't quit, and I don't run. I'm not afraid of anything. Whatever I find worthy of the precious moments of my life I put my all into it. I stay until the last dog is hung. My strength is my weakness. Not knowing when to quit.

I totally identify with the above. I am a stubborn ass, and I've always felt that is the only reason I have accomplished anything.

Unfortunately a relationship between two people is forged by the actions of two separate people, and I can only take care of my side.



It nearly drove me to my death. I'm satisfied. I know I did the best I could.

Isn't that all we can do, just do our best? It also sucks when doing our best fails. I wonder if you or me have/had an inner self that is afraid to be found wanting.

Good question. Fear based. Why though? Maybe shame. What could I do about it? Oh wait a minute... . that was a statement?
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RecycledNoMore
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« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2014, 02:38:24 AM »

Fear based yes, for me when I think of fear of failure the first thing that springs to mind is my father, he was very strict, I always wanted to do my best, to please him,to make him proud.

Having a lightbulb moment excuse me,sniff.
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myself
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« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2014, 02:05:18 PM »

Have been thinking about this. Does not giving up mean we're too set in our ways or selfish? Is it a form of adapting? Do we constantly find endings and new beginnings? Wanting the good to be seen, to play out in real life. Funny that as an adult there is still some growing up to do.
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dontknow2
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« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2014, 06:04:52 PM »

Have been thinking about this. Does not giving up mean we're too set in our ways or selfish? Is it a form of adapting? Do we constantly find endings and new beginnings? Wanting the good to be seen, to play out in real life. Funny that as an adult there is still some growing up to do.

The most difficult for me is identifying what is important enough not to quit. That said, it took me fighting until the bitter end, change my mind a hundred times on the same subject, and give up in a flash to know I am capable, free to choose, will learn from my mistakes, and get back up eventually. I am now starting to fathom why its the journey not the destination.
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