Seen therapist today and was amazed at the great advice I was given on here.

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Thanks to you all on here for the advice you have given me. I feel I truly am not alone when it comes to detaching from a person who has Bpd.

I had seen my therapist today and he was amazed at how much happier I sounded and I explained to him about this site. He said that it's great to hear about sites such as this one.

I still am in a process from letting go of my ex and I am sure it will take a long time to be healed but i am trying my hardest. I been reading a lot of posts on here and it seems we are all in this dilema when it comes to exBPD partners.

I am having the hardest time with the recurring thoughts of my ex with other men because she would always brag about all the guys she slept with and it made me uncomfortable"like I was not good enough for her" has anyone else had this problem and if so was your ex acting the same way and bragging about sexual partners?

I may sound like a broken record but i really need to vent at times and I am also here for others too.


Jim

[ynguns2]

Thanks to you all on here for the advice you have given me. I feel I truly am not alone when it comes to detaching from a person who has Bpd.

I had seen my therapist today and he was amazed at how much happier I sounded and I explained to him about this site. He said that it's great to hear about sites such as this one.

I still am in a process from letting go of my ex and I am sure it will take a long time to be healed but i am trying my hardest. I been reading a lot of posts on here and it seems we are all in this dilema when it comes to exBPD partners.

I am having the hardest time with the recurring thoughts of my ex with other men because she would always brag about all the guys she slept with and it made me uncomfortable"like I was not good enough for her" has anyone else had this problem and if so was your ex acting the same way and bragging about sexual partners?

I may sound like a broken record but i really need to vent at times and I am also here for others too.


Jim

[Want2know]

The folks and information on this site is amazing.  I remember when I first found the site and how helpful and supportive everyone was, as well as pushing me when I needed it.

Glad you found us!   

[ynguns2]

thanks wanttoknow. i feel a lot better for sure. i can honestly say in my 36 years on this planet I never have felt more lost ever as I did after I dated a woman who was diagnosed with Bpd.

I understand that this is an illness but I tried so hard while I was in the relationship to make things right and every time I would think things were going great the bottom dropped from underneath me leaving me falling into a bottomless hole.

I never want to experience the pain and suffering that she has caused me and I consider myself lucky that I did not let things continue on after all that happened over this summer.

I guess you can say i learned my lesson the hard way and hard it is for sure.



Jim

[node4]

ynguns2

Yea, My ex did the same thing to me. It made me feel small, and like somehow I was not good enough, and makes me sick to this day. That is one thing that I could never shake, I felt dirty when I was with her, nothing was sacred everything had a sinister twist, or some dirty story. It got old, it is one of the biggest things that keeps me from ever contacting her again. Mine had a history, and her history made me sick, and makes me sick to this day. I will never shake it.

They also use it as a form of control, and they also use it to test your love, to see if you care about them, they watch your reaction to the stories. Not to mention they are compulsive liars so you will really never know how much of what they are saying is real, or made up to get you to react.

RUN.

[Mutt]

I still am in a process from letting go of my ex and I am sure it will take a long time to be healed but i am trying my hardest.

Give yourself time to heal, detaching is a process. I can hear your ambition, don't forget to take it easy on yourself.  

I may sound like a broken record but i really need to vent at times and I am also here for others too.

We're here for you, go ahead and vent your feelings as many times as it takes.

- Mutt

[ShadowDancer]

Node,

       Your telling my story and singing my song. Yes it is true... . here... . we are not alone... . and it is also true that we do and will become better and return to ourselves in time. I try to remember a sage bit of wisdom from my mentor, "true love never compares".  Advice: Long hot showers... . that dirt will come off.

[Octoberfest]

thanks wanttoknow. i feel a lot better for sure. i can honestly say in my 36 years on this planet I never have felt more lost ever as I did after I dated a woman who was diagnosed with Bpd.



I understand that this is an illness but I tried so hard while I was in the relationship to make things right and every time I would think things were going great the bottom dropped from underneath me leaving me falling into a bottomless hole.

I never want to experience the pain and suffering that she has caused me and I consider myself lucky that I did not let things continue on after all that happened over this summer.

I guess you can say i learned my lesson the hard way and hard it is for sure.



Jim

You took the words right out of my mouth. Exactly what I experienced.

ynguns2

Yea, My ex did the same thing to me. It made me feel small, and like somehow I was not good enough, and makes me sick to this day. That is one thing that I could never shake, I felt dirty when I was with her, nothing was sacred everything had a sinister twist, or some dirty story. It got old, it is one of the biggest things that keeps me from ever contacting her again. Mine had a history, and her history made me sick, and makes me sick to this day. I will never shake it.

They also use it as a form of control, and they also use it to test your love, to see if you care about them, they watch your reaction to the stories. Not to mention they are compulsive liars so you will really never know how much of what they are saying is real, or made up to get you to react.

RUN.

I agree... . And this was when my BPDex was only 21!  The number of guys (and girls) she has had sex with is staggering; and some of the stories even moreso.  It pains me to say it, but honestly if my BPDex had all of the dicks that she has had stuck IN her, sticking OUT of her, she would look like a porcupine.  I find myself kind of bewildered looking back that I found myself with this girl... . I think a large part of it has to do with it having been my first relationship EVER, and me being thirsty for feelings of being wanted... . but I can truthfully say that I do not want to marry or settle down with a girl who has slept with as many people as my BPDex has.  It is just dirty to me and screams of having a lack of respect for yourself.

[ynguns2]

Octoberfest I agree totally with you. These woman are nuts and I met this nutjob on Match.com and noticed that some of these so called dating sites are filled with people with Bpd.

I am yet in another situation but she is so much different then the ex b-word and now we are expecting a child and I am so happy thst at 36 I can hopefully settle down and become a father.

I am a firefighter and she is a tracher so I hope I raise my child with good values and if its a girl to explain to her that men should treat women with respect and not like a piece of meat.

Thanks buddy.