Hi there guys,
I've just joined recently, but been around this site for a good three/four years now, as long as my soul sacrifice of a relationship has started. you can read my intro here if interested. It's a compressed version, otherwise as we all know it, it would go on for many pages.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=220980.0To get to the point, I broke off my 4 year relationship 3 weeks ago with dBPDgf. Her general condition drastically improved, we were in a long distance relationship,for half of the time but met up every few months for longer periods( sometimes months) and kept in constant contact over phone, viber... etc. I broke it off when I went to pick her up and bring her back with me. I live in the UK, she lives in Budapest, Hungary. Another trust breaking "who said what" scenario happened at a party, just after two days of being together. It was an all too familiar situation, which was followed by projecting, distorting, lying and more lying.
A few days ago she wrote to me saying " I know we're in no contact, but just to let you know, you destroyed my soul and heart, I guess what comes around... . " I think the FOG got the better of me, and today, I wrote to her. She replied straight away, " you love to make me cry" then composed herself and stated, "Just leave me alone, I've got to get over you". I felt terrible, as I thought she would be over me by now and made me think whether she has truly recovered and she's mourning the way I would do. (last time I broke up with her, I was shattered for four months until I got back with her)
On the way home from work I had a few missed calls as I was driving. I stopped for the last call as my phone kept going off. It was her. The reason why I'm glad I took her call, is because even though I was upset, I could clearly read between her words. She thought she phoned me at a weak moment and could take control with emotional indifference, projecting and acting all above it all. In a way she was. She has gotten over the two tough weeks, she was dissociated from her feelings (said she can't remember what she did for a week and a half) and now she's back in the game. It's so true how they can get over you in two weeks. The whole conversation was about shifting blame,(she's innocent like Virgin Mary all the time) and covering up the lies with more lies. I even told her that, listen if it makes it easier for you, you can believe that version. She said no no no that's not the case. I eventually cut the conversation short and said goodbye. She said that she wanted to her my voice for the last time. Just a few hours ago she texted farewell for good.
Instead of this phone call upsetting me, it actually calmed and reassured me, that I can see things so much more clearly. It was such an eye opener, especially, that I returned to this godsend site and all you lovely people, reading and finally writing as well. It's scary how she's convinced that she's cured, (4 months DBT+CBT) but deep down I think she's aware of her old antics.
I'm just glad I'm not part of it anymore. Take care everyone :-)
