subconscious

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

i have been in NC for two months now. one week ago i saw her entering a coffee shop while i was driving to my therapist. after the session, i went to sit in this coffee shop. i had no intentions of talking to her and i did not. we acted like total strangers. she avoided eye contact at all costs. I left after some time. I think i was needing some validation or closure. I wished that she would approach me and i would reject her. Last contact was when i insulted her over text as she was giving me the silent treatment. I think i did give up cause she was not responding not because i decided that she is not good for me. i can see that i go to places that she likes to bump into her. i dont contact her but i wish that she would contact me and i would reject her. i look for her everywhere i go. at the same time i feel horrified to bump into her. thats confusing

[antjs]

i have been in NC for two months now. one week ago i saw her entering a coffee shop while i was driving to my therapist. after the session, i went to sit in this coffee shop. i had no intentions of talking to her and i did not. we acted like total strangers. she avoided eye contact at all costs. I left after some time. I think i was needing some validation or closure. I wished that she would approach me and i would reject her. Last contact was when i insulted her over text as she was giving me the silent treatment. I think i did give up cause she was not responding not because i decided that she is not good for me. i can see that i go to places that she likes to bump into her. i dont contact her but i wish that she would contact me and i would reject her. i look for her everywhere i go. at the same time i feel horrified to bump into her. thats confusing

[letmeout]

we acted like total strangers.

In a way, she is a total stranger, she wasn't the person you perceived her to be.

Bumping into my ex always gives me nightmares for a week.

[antjs]

we acted like total strangers.

In a way, she is a total stranger, she wasn't the person you perceived her to be.

Bumping into my ex always gives me nightmares for a week.

it feels like being with tyler durden from fight club !

[AwakenedOne]

I think i was needing some validation or closure. I wished that she would approach me and i would reject her.

Hi AJ,

I understand why you feel this way. I relate to this type of thinking. My ex tossed me away with no normal closure also. It's tough being on our end (the ones thrown away). The best thing to do is to rise above her behavior though instead right? Trying to get in a position now so you can reject her is going to hurt you more than it does her right? Hang in there. Things will get better.  

Peace,

AO

[Mutt]

BPD are hyper sensitive to rejection. Not having eye contact with her, inadvertently rejected her.

I'm not a tardy person. I have a particular friend that is, he would trigger my ex by being 10 minutes late when he was supposed to meet my ex at his house, for babysitting his kids. She would magnify this, and felt like my friend was rejecting her, she was hyper sensitive.