The final chapter of my journey

[jammo1989]

I would just like to thank everybody for the past 13 months of my life, this has been and always will the best place for advice regarding BPD as a whole.  The reason why im posting this is because I finally have the answer to all the questions I asked in the past.  I, just like others on here have been through the was it me thought process as well as was she actually BPD? Well I finally have my answers to complete my journey.  As most of you know my ex dumped me and her trigger was the impulsive need for a 3rd child, I was kicked to the kerb only to vanish from her life unexpectedly.  Well the final update I have is that, my ex got pregnant 2 months into the new relationship, and dumped my replacement 2 weeks after their 1 year anniversary, and a month since the child was born, he's now been blocked like I was and has been blocked from seeing his son, he just like me doesn't understand because he gave her and her kids his all just like I did, now he's in pieces and left confused because he doesn't know about this disorder, so I can safely say I dodged a bullet as that would have been me.

What I want others to take from this is, always trust your gut feeling, and if your gut feeling is telling you that they show traits of BPD then walk away and let Mother Nature take its turn in the form of karma.  This is for everyone on here who thought just like I did, no it was your fault and if your on a BPD forum then your gut feeling is probably right.  It took me 13 months to see the behaviour replay itself and my questions have finally been answered in the form of using someone for a child, and blocking with no valid reason as he sounds like a great father to that child.


Take care everyone, karma WILL come, that I promise you!

[enlighten me]

Hi Jammo

Im glad you've found closure and dodged a bullet.

Yes it feels like we were the crazy one an Im glad you've got your proof.

All the best for the future.

EM

[jammo1989]

Hi Jammo

Im glad you've found closure and dodged a bullet.

Yes it feels like we were the crazy one an Im glad you've got your proof.

All the best for the future.

EM

Thank you for the kind words Enlightened, I just want others to know that Karma really does show its face and that no one on here were the cause of it.  We were just vulnerable at that point in our lives for some reason and this allowed toxic people to draw us in closer than what we are emotionally and psychologically used to.

[Mutt]

Hi jammo1989,

It sounds terrible that your ex is denying reasonable access a month after they had the baby. Hopefully she may allow access or he settles things in court. She's attached to the father of the child and co-parenting can be incredibly difficult with a person that suffers from BPD. It's good to hear that you learned from your experiences over the last 13 months.

[hurting300]

Your story is just like mine if you remember. My ex vanished too. Didn't even break up with me . Took my baby and held her hostage from me. I have my child back and of course my exes life is a mess again. It always will be. I have zero sympathy for her still, and probably never will. She's had all kinds of bad things happen to her since then. And I'm not talking to her. I communicate thru a third party. She knows she messed up ... .But I'm so so happy you found your answers. These people tend to give you all the information if you listen closely.

[jammo1989]

Hi jammo1989,

It sounds terrible that your ex is denying reasonable access a month after they had the baby. Hopefully she may allow access or he settles things in court. She's attached to the father of the child and co-parenting can be incredibly difficult with a person that suffers from BPD. It's good to hear that you learned from your experiences over the last 13 months.

Thanks for all the support over the past year Mutt, I truly feel so grateful for all the support when I was at my most vulnerable, but I dodged a serious bullet and I'm so proud of my self for standing my ground when put in that baby situation.

[jammo1989]

Your story is just like mine if you remember. My ex vanished too. Didn't even break up with me . Took my baby and held her hostage from me. I have my child back and of course my exes life is a mess again. It always will be. I have zero sympathy for her still, and probably never will. She's had all kinds of bad things happen to her since then. And I'm not talking to her. I communicate thru a third party. She knows she messed up ... .But I'm so so happy you found your answers. These people tend to give you all the information if you listen closely.

I remember your story hurting, at least we can now see how lucky we are to be out of that environment once and for all.

[Mutt]

Hi jammo1989,

It sounds terrible that your ex is denying reasonable access a month after they had the baby. Hopefully she may allow access or he settles things in court. She's attached to the father of the child and co-parenting can be incredibly difficult with a person that suffers from BPD. It's good to hear that you learned from your experiences over the last 13 months.

Thanks for all the support over the past year Mutt, I truly feel so grateful for all the support when I was at my most vulnerable, but I dodged a serious bullet and I'm so proud of my self for standing my ground when put in that baby situation.

It was my pleasure. I understand that you were at your most vulnerable like many members are when they arrive here.

It sounds like you were in a fork in a road 13 months ago and choosing a path may not be the easiest of choice. You chose to listen to your instincts   Your instincts support and guide you and I think it's something to celebrate that you stood your ground and followed through despite your exes's pleas.

[Skip]

What I want others to take from this is, always trust your gut feeling, and if your gut feeling is telling you that they show traits of BPD then walk away and let Mother Nature take its turn in the form of karma.  This is for everyone on here who thought just like I did, no it was your fault and if your on a BPD forum then your gut feeling is probably right.  It took me 13 months to see the behaviour replay itself and my questions have finally been answered in the form of using someone for a child, and blocking with no valid reason as he sounds like a great father to that child.


Take care everyone, karma WILL come, that I promise you!

Are you thinking your journey of healing and recovery is complete now that her relationship has failed? What will happen if they reconcile?  

Its natural to feel vindicated to some level. We all understand that.  But is it healing and the end of the journey?

I'd just caution that these are loaded relationship bonds with each party bringing some baggage in. When they fail, all that baggage surfaces.

You may want to consider how much of your own self esteem is tied up in her/relationship. That may be a tell as to what baggage you brought in and have lying below the surface and will carry into the next relationship.