Should I contact him if I test positive for an STD

[Depression = 72% of members]

After reading all of the stories and threads that have provided much enlightenment to my situation. I decided it was very necessary to be tested. I thought during our r/s we were monogamous. Clearly now I realize that was my fantasy. I have made an appointment. Thoughts on if it comes back I have something do I even bother contacting him? I will be infuriated beyond my limit if something does come back positive. Just as I was beginning to feel progress now I will be anxious awaiting results and what to do if they are positive for STD;( just trying to prepare myself. I almost feel like he doesn't deserve to know if he gave me something. I will be so upset I don't know if I can restrain myself from contacting him.

[butterfly15]

After reading all of the stories and threads that have provided much enlightenment to my situation. I decided it was very necessary to be tested. I thought during our r/s we were monogamous. Clearly now I realize that was my fantasy. I have made an appointment. Thoughts on if it comes back I have something do I even bother contacting him? I will be infuriated beyond my limit if something does come back positive. Just as I was beginning to feel progress now I will be anxious awaiting results and what to do if they are positive for STD;( just trying to prepare myself. I almost feel like he doesn't deserve to know if he gave me something. I will be so upset I don't know if I can restrain myself from contacting him.

[blackbirdsong]

You have just addressed my huge fear after break up. That and pregnancy fear (that she will suddenly contact me and tell my this news).

I am really scared of this.

I went for a test (HIV, Hepatitis C) right after break up. They were negative.

But you cannot be sure since window period is still active in my case. For other STDs I still need to do tests. 

I think I would contact her in case I found out something. I would be angry as hell probably. But now I am in a phase where I feel sorry for her and her BPD, so I would told her, and would never look back.

[hashtag_loyal]

I think you will need to contact him somehow. Not for his benefit, but for the safety of the public as a whole. I feel like we as humans have certain obligations that extend beyond interpersonal relationships, and this is one of them.

Believe me, I can feel your pain. My ex never would've confessed to any infidelity if I didn't have a positive test result to throw in her face, so I was actually looking forward to a positive result. Of course I had symptoms, so I knew I would've tested positive to something, but I remained very worried about what else she might've given me (fortunately nothing that wasn't cured within a few days.  ) It was still a very nerve-wracking week while I waited for my appointment and then waited several more days for the final results.

Hang in there. The next several days will most likely be very anxious and difficult, but you are definitely doing the right thing in getting tested.

Also, you should check with your doctor, but most places will allow you to anonymously contact previous partners alerting them to the need to get tested. That route may be a better one for you to take (should you test positive for anything.)

[Mutt]

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

[butterfly15]

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

I may not feel comfortable seeking guidance and letting others know if I am positive.

[Mutt]

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

I may not feel comfortable seeking guidance and letting others know if I am positive.

After reading all of the stories and threads that have provided much enlightenment to my situation. I decided it was very necessary to be tested. I thought during our r/s we were monogamous. Clearly now I realize that was my fantasy.

I know it's not comfortable. It's a good idea to get checked. I can understand the anxiety with waiting for the test results to come back. I think that I would feel dread if I had to contact my ex partner with that type of news. Are you absolutely certain that he cheated or was it the stories and threads that has you convinced? Everyone that suffers from BPD is a different person with different traits and severity, it's a spectrum disorder. It doesn't necessarily mean that if one person's partner cheated that our partner's have. I suggest taking it one step at a time.

[butterfly15]

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

I may not feel comfortable seeking guidance and letting others know if I am positive.

After reading all of the stories and threads that have provided much enlightenment to my situation. I decided it was very necessary to be tested. I thought during our r/s we were monogamous. Clearly now I realize that was my fantasy.

I know it's not comfortable. It's a good idea to get checked. I can understand the anxiety with waiting for the test results to come back. I think that I would feel dread if I had to contact my ex partner with that type of news. Are you absolutely certain that he cheated or was it the stories and threads that has you convinced? Everyone that suffers from BPD is a different person with different traits and severity, it's a spectrum disorder. It doesn't necessarily mean that if one person's partner cheated that our partner's have. I suggest taking it one step at a time.

I know he did. Found out a lot toward the end of our relationship.

[Skip]

In the event that there is a positive test, you have legal recourse if he knew he was infected.

Nonetheless, if positive the physician will ask for the names and contact information of your sexual partners to report to the public health department.

You should also follow up to him in writing telling him you contracted the disease.  This will help cover you legally (so he doesn't claim you infected him) and, most importantly, it will help protect any future partners since he will have legal liability if he knows but doesn't tell them.