Appears she's much worse than I ever imagined

[JerryRG]

Talked to her pastor yesterday.

Still no contact from her, the last time she's had our son in her care will be 3 months tomorrow.

Pastor said, yes it's all about the child support, it was never anything else. So, no love for me or our son.

Coming to this realization is shocking, as sick as I knew she was, I had no idea she is this sick. I've come to accept her as she is and be very grateful I was strong enough to get away from her.

I learned about BPD here, and I'm convinced she's BPD/NPD and Histrionic.

Looking back I now see all the signs and all the pieces fit together. Her pastor is extremely concerned for her bf, he's in for a complete train wreck like we all experienced.

The pastor believes her losing my child support next month may trigger her to reach out and take our son just to reestablish her control.

He says she needs so much help, she is so sick and she's running out of time.

Anyone else get these moments when the reality of the horror set in and hit you?

He told me to forget about her and if she gets help, I agree. I want her well but I'm not going to worry about it. Another point was to not be resentful because it only slows my recovery down and hurts my son and myself.

Sometimes I see her when I look at my son, some reminders and so I have to do something to accept that I can never get totally away from her. My son will always remind me of her. That's the price I pay for being in a relationship with someone I knew better to just stay away from.

Time to live, forgive and forget and move on.

I see her for who she is, what she does.

All in all this whole experience has made me a much better man in a much better place with a good life.

And to add icing to the mountain of cake, a beautiful son who makes me laugh often, each and every day. Watching him grow up has givin me exactly what I need, right now, in this time  I fear I won't be the perfect dad but who is.

God knew it all, and not only brought me through this nightnare, but blessed me with everything new.

I want to thank  bpdfamily, all of you who have been so helpful, the moderators for your patience and wisdom, I do hope everyone recovers and thrives.

God bless you all  

[Julia S]

It's good for all of you that you have the pastor watching out.

[Mutt]

Hi JerryRG,

Anyone else get these moments when the reality of the horror set in and hit you?

That's the way things are for now, it may change for better or for worse in the future, life is constant change. Concentrate on taking care of you, that will trickle down to your son.

[Moselle]

I want to thank  bpdfamily, all of you who have been so helpful, the moderators for your patience and wisdom, I do hope everyone recovers and thrives.

God bless you all  

I agree. It is a special place this. Well done Jerry, you have been through some very tough things. And I'm sure there will be more. Hang in there. And enjoy the good moments

[Herodias]

It's hard to believe it's been 3 months since she was with him... .so sad. I think your Pastor is right about the child support. I know you will be in a battle with her. Just be well prepared. She will tire of this guy eventually and find another one... .It is best you have your son. Glad you are enjoying your time with him. That is al that matters right now... .