Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 10, 2025, 02:14:20 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
How would a child understand?
Shame, a Powerful, Painful and Potentially Dangerous Emotion
Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest?
Have Your Parents Put You at Risk for Psychopathology
Resentment: Maybe She Was Doing the...
91
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: New  (Read 499 times)
Herdaughter
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1


« on: December 11, 2016, 06:18:06 PM »

Hi, my mother has BPD and is untreated.  I'm her eldest daughter and have chosen not to go home for the holidays for the first time this year due to the fear and pain each visit brings.  Tonight she texted all of us for the first time since our ultimatum to get help or lose relationship with us and I am sitting here with horrible guilt and sadness because none of us are responding.  It's a very confusing time.
Logged
Naughty Nibbler
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727



« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2016, 06:54:58 PM »


Welcome HerDaughter:

I'm sorry about your situation with your mom.  It can be a challenge to set boundaries, and Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) is common.  Your mom can make a choice to get treatment.  If she fails to do that, then she is responsible for a very quiet Christmas - not you.  Sometimes, the road to sanity is to stay firm with a boundary.


The links below can be helpful: (Click on the green words)

FOG
BOUNDARIES

Are you able to share some details about our mom's behaviors?  Does she have an issue with depression and/or anxiety, along with BPD?

There are several links to more helpful information, to the upper right of this post.  Have you read any books on BPD?

Logged
Janneke

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 36



« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2016, 06:59:18 PM »

Hi HerDaughter 
I'm new too; I found this place yesterday.
It sounds like you did something healthy for yourself. Of course you're sad - it is really hard!
Are your other siblings good support for you?
J
Logged
Mutt
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10403



WWW
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2016, 04:57:58 PM »

Hi Herdaughter,

Welcome

I'd like to join the others and welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that   A pwBPD have all or nothing thinking and their feelings cycle rapidly. Did anyone respond? Did you hear back from your mom?  You're not alone.
Logged

"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!