Talking stage gone silent

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I’ve been talking to a girl long-distance for about three months. She has BPD and across the state. We met at a bar when I was traveling, had an amazing night, stayed in touch, and things kept getting better. She used to call me every night, was super affectionate, and eventually I drove out to see her for a few days. The visit went really well.

After I came back home, I noticed she wasn’t initiating calls as much. She’d still answer and stay on the phone for a long time, still warm and affectionate, just not starting things like she used to.

Then she had a health issue come up, and I tried to be as supportive as possible. Out of nowhere she went completely silent but after a few days liked a few of my social media post. After about a week I reached out with a calm, supportive message, she replied warmly, apologized, asked how I’d been, but didn’t really explain the silence beyond being busy, I  didn’t push it.

We texted for a few days. Then I got busy with friends one day and didn’t reply as quickly. The next day she went quiet again, saying she’d just been in bed all day, and eventually it turned back into total silence. It’s been several days now.

I’m confused about how to handle this.
I’m not sure if:
   1.   I should reach out again
   2.   I should give her more space
   3.   Or if this is her way of ending things without saying it.

For anyone who’s dated someone with BPD or who has BPD themselves,  what’s the right move here? I want to respect her space but I also don’t want to enable unhealthy patterns.

Any advice is appreciated.

[MaxJesus]

So I’ve been talking to a girl long-distance for about three months. She has BPD and across the state. We met at a bar when I was traveling, had an amazing night, stayed in touch, and things kept getting better. She used to call me every night, was super affectionate, and eventually I drove out to see her for a few days. The visit went really well.

After I came back home, I noticed she wasn’t initiating calls as much. She’d still answer and stay on the phone for a long time, still warm and affectionate, just not starting things like she used to.

Then she had a health issue come up, and I tried to be as supportive as possible. Out of nowhere she went completely silent but after a few days liked a few of my social media post. After about a week I reached out with a calm, supportive message, she replied warmly, apologized, asked how I’d been, but didn’t really explain the silence beyond being busy, I  didn’t push it.

We texted for a few days. Then I got busy with friends one day and didn’t reply as quickly. The next day she went quiet again, saying she’d just been in bed all day, and eventually it turned back into total silence. It’s been several days now.

I’m confused about how to handle this.
I’m not sure if:
   1.   I should reach out again
   2.   I should give her more space
   3.   Or if this is her way of ending things without saying it.

For anyone who’s dated someone with BPD or who has BPD themselves,  what’s the right move here? I want to respect her space but I also don’t want to enable unhealthy patterns.

Any advice is appreciated.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MaxJesus]

So I’ve been talking to a girl long-distance for about three months. She has BPD and lives across the state. We met at a bar when I was traveling, had an amazing night, stayed in touch, and things kept getting better. She used to call me every night, was super affectionate, and eventually I drove out to see her for a few days. The visit went really well.

After I came back home, I noticed she wasn’t initiating calls as much. She’d still answer and stay on the phone for a long time, still warm and affectionate, just not starting things like she used to.

Then she had a health issue come up, and I tried to be as supportive as possible. Out of nowhere she went completely silent but after a few days liked a few of my social media post. After about a week I reached out with a calm, supportive message, she replied warmly, apologized, asked how I’d been, but didn’t really explain the silence beyond being busy, I  didn’t push it.

We texted for a few days. Then I got busy with friends one day and didn’t reply as quickly. The next day she went quiet again, saying she’d just been in bed all day, and eventually it turned back into total silence. It’s been several days now.

I’m confused about how to handle this.
I’m not sure if:
   1.   I should reach out again
   2.   I should give her more space
   3.   Or if this is her way of ending things without saying it.

For anyone who’s dated someone with BPD or who has BPD themselves,  what’s the right move here? I want to respect her space but I also don’t want to enable unhealthy patterns.

Any advice is appreciated.