just wondering...

[Ladiebug]

hi. i'm engaged to a man with bpd. he can be a very thoughtful, loving supportive man, but there's the other person who lives inside of him. i have no intention of giving up on our relationship. I worked as a peer support counselor for 3 yrs and have received some basic education about bpd. i am trying to be as supportive of him in every way i can, but  one of the major concerns i have is that i also have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder coupled with a serious ptsd  diagnosis, (my partner also has some major ptsd issues). i guess what i need is suggestions on how to keep myself safe both physically and mentally during one of his tantrums. things have gotten physical in the past a few times. also, what can you say to them when i'm sorry seems to be the only phrase i can think of as he is informing me of his every, well you know the drill. we've been together for 14yrs. i have just recently got him starting to take his meds again. a few years ago i had him med compliant for nearly 6mo and things improved during that time period. also any suggestions on dealing with the "i love you(them) t hate you(them)" situation. right now we are living in a house my mom owns, but she does not charge us rent. he is constantly going off because she won't sign the house over to me(us) right now. having him say such nasty things about my mom is almost more than i can bear. she does so much for us. i just can't ;eave him talk about her like that, and tell me that i can't have her come visit. (i've had to tell her before that she shouldn't come over that day and it really upset her. she's done so much for us, and his own mother just started talking to him again)

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[SuperDaddy]

Hi @LadieBug and welcome to the BPD family !

So he is upset with your mom just because she won't sign the house over to you? You said that would mean transferring it to both of you? But you aren't married yet, are you? Did he pay her for the house, or is it a donation, as in an anticipated inheritance?

I'm asking because I am suspicious about his motives.

Anyway, I think the house must remain in your mother's name, for your safety. Signing off the papers would only make things worse, and your mother seems to be wise enough to see it.