EX BPD GF Kept all my stuff.

[heidikidd]

My borderline ex girlfriend of six years and I broken up in Mid september. Typical stuff. she wouldn’t take responsibility for anything and every issue in the relationship was my fault.
Since I was locked out of the apartment she has picked and chosen what she is going to give me. She has allowed me to take my clothes and computer thats about it. She has basically kept my TV and home theatre setup and has kept every single thing she has ever given to me. Every christmas gift, ... .everything I owned or thought i owned.
Each and every attempt I have made to get my things from here has resulted in her freaking out and going on and on about what she has “done for me”

She believes simply keeping my belongings is me paying her back since she has done so much in the past.

does anyone have any experience with this kind of thing. I mean she literally just simply kept everything.

[Mutt]

Hi Heidikidd,



I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I don’t have experience with what you’re going through I do have an ex that acts dramatic and emotionally immature. Is your gf diagnosed with BPD?

Are you on the lease? Can you pick your things up with a family member or friend?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey heidikidd, Welcome!  Yup, I've been through a similar experience.  Basically, she is holding your property hostage.  In my view, it's just "Stuff," so don't sweat it at the end of the day.  If you can get a friend or family member to accompany you, as Mutt suggests, that might defuse the situation.  Alternatively, you could seek legal relief through small claims court, if necessary.

LuckyJim

[ConcernedMan92]

Yup, same exact situation (6 years too) she has all my stuff cause she's in a different country, I was supposed to get married to her this year but she just broke it off out of nowhere. I changed and planned my life according to her and I supposed to move there but she never wanted to move to my country. So since she's in a different country I can't even get any of my stuff back. I've told her to donate everything if she was gonna throw them away or destroy it like our relationship. It just feels like people with BPD are very emotionally immature and you can never win with them.

Two of my posts if you want more info of how my relationship went
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=318146.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=318974.0

[mjssmom]

Yes my ex kept my stuff and he has attempted to recycle me also on the premise that he wants to give my items and money he owes me back to me. As far as I'm concerned I've gone this far without these things which has been a year now, so he can just keep everything as long as he leaves me alone.