Does she show signs of BPD?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My ex-gf and I broke up back in early August, after an 8 month relationship. From what I’ve been reading, it almost seems that she fits the description of having BPD. Everything was great in the beginning, until suddenly she would soon just pick out the little things to have a reason to start an argument. She would even get mad over the fact, that I would have a different opinion over something so small, whether political or whatever. The most devastating thing was that she broke things off the very next day. It literally went from being called the greatest BF ever and so thankful to be in her life, to within the next 24hr period of being the biggest POS. She’s in a new relationship now and started seeing this guy, only a month after our breakup. Of course she didn’t make things “official”, until recently in December. Idk why she tried to keep things so secretive from me, until now. From what I’ve been told she’s moving in with this guy and they’ve been only dating for 4 months now. Does someone who might have BPD have the desire to move in with their significant other so quick? Keep in mind during our post breakup or even during the breakup, not one time did I disrespect her in anyway, not one curse word or anything. What’s even more odd is that she would give me several reasons on why we broke up and basically lead up to her not liking me as a person in general basically. But one of her friends told me, that she said to her that the reason why we broke up is because she didn’t see herself spending the rest of her life with me, so WE decided not to date. Like “WE” didn’t decide anything for the relationship to end, she did. Just need another input from a professional aspect and curious if I could possibly get some answers, thank you.

[Andy84940614]

My ex-gf and I broke up back in early August, after an 8 month relationship. From what I’ve been reading, it almost seems that she fits the description of having BPD. Everything was great in the beginning, until suddenly she would soon just pick out the little things to have a reason to start an argument. She would even get mad over the fact, that I would have a different opinion over something so small, whether political or whatever. The most devastating thing was that she broke things off the very next day. It literally went from being called the greatest BF ever and so thankful to be in her life, to within the next 24hr period of being the biggest POS. She’s in a new relationship now and started seeing this guy, only a month after our breakup. Of course she didn’t make things “official”, until recently in December. Idk why she tried to keep things so secretive from me, until now. From what I’ve been told she’s moving in with this guy and they’ve been only dating for 4 months now. Does someone who might have BPD have the desire to move in with their significant other so quick? Keep in mind during our post breakup or even during the breakup, not one time did I disrespect her in anyway, not one curse word or anything. What’s even more odd is that she would give me several reasons on why we broke up and basically lead up to her not liking me as a person in general basically. But one of her friends told me, that she said to her that the reason why we broke up is because she didn’t see herself spending the rest of her life with me, so WE decided not to date. Like “WE” didn’t decide anything for the relationship to end, she did. Just need another input from a professional aspect and curious if I could possibly get some answers, thank you.

[TurbanCowboy]

My ex-gf and I broke up back in early August, after an 8 month relationship. From what I’ve been reading, it almost seems that she fits the description of having BPD. Everything was great in the beginning, until suddenly she would soon just pick out the little things to have a reason to start an argument. She would even get mad over the fact, that I would have a different opinion over something so small, whether political or whatever. The most devastating thing was that she broke things off the very next day. It literally went from being called the greatest BF ever and so thankful to be in her life, to within the next 24hr period of being the biggest POS. She’s in a new relationship now and started seeing this guy, only a month after our breakup. Of course she didn’t make things “official”, until recently in December. Idk why she tried to keep things so secretive from me, until now. From what I’ve been told she’s moving in with this guy and they’ve been only dating for 4 months now. Does someone who might have BPD have the desire to move in with their significant other so quick? Keep in mind during our post breakup or even during the breakup, not one time did I disrespect her in anyway, not one curse word or anything. What’s even more odd is that she would give me several reasons on why we broke up and basically lead up to her not liking me as a person in general basically. But one of her friends told me, that she said to her that the reason why we broke up is because she didn’t see herself spending the rest of her life with me, so WE decided not to date. Like “WE” didn’t decide anything for the relationship to end, she did. Just need another input from a professional aspect and curious if I could possibly get some answers, thank you.

My wife of (10 year relationship) has her boyfriend moving into a house we bought 9 months ago and we haven’t signed the separation agreement.

My wife used to say all her previous boyfriends were perfect while she constantly split me black and white. I used to ask why she didn’t marry them.
She said she couldn’t picture spending the rest of her life with them, but she could with me. I’m sure these guys were crushed, she was engaged to one of them.

My wife was always very sensitive to anything I said or how I said it even when I made a conscious effort not to create friction. If I gave my honesty opinion she would say Intake other people’s sides or that she just wanted to vent and didn’t want me to speak. If I didn’t speak she would say, “nice talking to you.” It was a no win situation very often.

I don’t know if she has BPD but I do know what it’s like to be the best one minute and the worse the next.

[Mutt]

Hi Andy84940614,



Were not professionals can’t diagnose only a professional can do that! What we can look at are BPD traits. Skip says that most members on the forum had a partner that were subclinical.

In the context of your post, a pwBPD can’t see good and bad qualities at the same time in someone they see you as either all good or all bad.

You’re perfect to a owBPD at the beginning of the r/s you typically don’t see past the good qualities in someone during the honeymoon phase, it’s something new. Over a period of time the cracks start to appear in that image until slowly a pwBPD don’t see any redeeming quality and split you black.

Another criterion for the disorder is lack of impulse control a pwBPD exist by surviving and don’t put thoughts to consequences, they’re hardships are usually caused by their own means. A pwBPD will also quickly attach to someone it’s possible that she has BOD but some people have an anxious attachment she could also be clingy. Some people go from one r/s to the next without pausing, they’re just like that it doesn’t mean that they have a PD look at their attachment style.

Don’t get hung on a diagnosis look at the behaviour and see if it also alogns with your values some people just have bad behaviours and lack the relationship stage in their development.