Difficulty accepting BPD of a woman love

[ohanes]

Hello to all, i am very new here, i am not native english speaker, please forgive me if i am not posting 100% to the rules of the forum.
I am in a very difficult romantic relationship with a woman in my age that has been diagnosed with BPD. More than year now we are living in a dream or a nightmare always in circles. This moment i don't know if i should call her my girlfriend or my ex-
We are both in our late 30s, both like each other a lot, both disappointed from previous relationships. I have also been a depressed person i have never been to a professional but i could say that i am a bipolar personality meaning that even though i want to be a nice person for others and specially loved ones i am never have the same energy or patience to be so.  This can make me from period to period depending on my condition the best or the worst partner for a person with BPD. When i think positive i can totally pass my energy to my girlfriend and we can have perfect time together and bond like i have never bonded with any one else in my life. But when i get tired specially lately that i feel that she will never accept any of my friends and that she will always make paranoid thoughts that even though i try not some times they trigger me to anger like her anger when she stops trusting me for any reason true or false.
I believe that a lot of you know what i mean so i will not share any more details.
My girlfriend was going to a psychiatrist until a few months ago, she was going to him for a few years while she was struggling to get out of depression and suicidal thoughts, he was the one who diagnosed her officially. All the time that she was going to the doctor she never accepted to take medicines to improve her condition but only behavior helping treatment if i am calling it right. Through my help the doctor finally at a point convinced her to start medicine treatment too and after a month she was already improving (we had our bad times again but where getting shorter and smaller). She was taking an anti-depressant around mid-day and a calming on the night so she could have good sleep. She never followed totally the doctor's orders.
After a month she was taking only the anti-depressant in random time of the day and not taking or rarely taking the anti-depressant.
The she suddenly decided that she was cured, she stopped everything the doctor, the medicines even her job for a long period. She managed to stand on her feet again at some point returned to her job and still from time to time we try to give our relationship a shot.
Please give me some advice something to make me feel better and how i can help her in anyway if not as her boyfriend. She is a wonderful person that i know that is leaving in fear almost all her life. When this fear is taking upon her she becomes a person that is so difficult to accept and be with.     

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi ohanes,

Sorry to hear of your ups and downs! Is there any possible way you can get her interested in taking medicine again? My partner started taking medicine about a month or so ago and it has made things much more balanced. I know how hard it can be for someone to believe they need or be willing to take medicine though! Oh my!

How about yourself? Do you need medicine/therapy for your health issues?

with compassion, pearl.

[Mutt]

Hi ohanes,



I’d like to join pearlsw and welcome you to the family. I’m gkad that you decided to join us. I agree with pearlsw we can’t control someone else what we can control is ourselves, you’re doing good things you blinded a support group seeking help, are you going to a T?

Self care is really important especially during distressing times you don’t want to neglect yourself by burning the candies at both ends, you can deal with stress a lot better if you’re taking hood care of yourself.

It’s not uncommon for someone to stop taking meds when they start feeling better her doctor may of advised her of that and said to keep taking your meds if you feel better.