Financially supporting her...

[Im.okay.now]

man34

Please stop doing this. I did it too for mine ... .and got screwed out of thousands in the end !

[centella]

centella... .i agree helping someone when they are starving makes sense... .but when they go out and spend ur hardearned money on shopping for stupid stuff... .does not make any sense... .

did not send her any money this week... .also changed my cc no. (she had the card no.)... .just checked the statement, she recently bought a serum/cream for beauty on my cc... .what the heck... .i have been fooled enough... .i feel so stupid to fall for her waifness... .my fault too... .

Yeah, I agree with you as well, in not giving money for stupid stuff. It seems like you did all you could. I would suggest you to tell her you can't support her anymore. To avoid any attack, or unexpected visit, say that you would like to help and that it breaks your heart not to do so, but something has come up, and now you simply don't have the means to help her anymore. After this, cut any means she has for taking money out of you. And I would give you the same advice upon investing some of that money in some therapy, because it will help you to deal with all the emotions you're feeling and the ones to come as you detach and realize things that you can't realize right now.

Best wishes,

Centella

[man34]

thanks centalla... .the datachment and urge to help are not easy to curb... .

[ForeverDad]

Those with BPD and the other acting-out PDs (Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic, Antisocial) are accomplished manipulators, they've had years to hone their emotionally pressuring and convincingly manipulative skills.

It's no surprise that many fall for it.  All of us here sure did.  If that didn't happen, then they would never succeed and hence they would try something else.  Which, by the way, is what does happen.  As the target/victim unwinds the chaos and seeks a way out of her FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) the disordered one will switch tactics and try other methods (love you, late you, etc).

[man34]

thanks forever dad... .i am certainly in the phase where i am trying to unwind the chaos and look beyond the FOG... .in the last few months she tried her best to pull me back (trying to invoke jealousy and guilt in me, sending naked pics)... .i kept LC... .i remember back in the day when i was confused about the issue and was totally wrapped in it... .she would actually get a kick out of it... .she even used to say to me "u are in my complete control"... .with a lot of satisfaction in her voice... .i mean really... .i am in a better place now... .will get better with time... .