He dysregulates quickly with me. He wants to dump all his pain on me. That is becoming clearer for me to see. I am so tired.
Remember that it doesn't help him either when you let him dump all his pain on you.
It is one of those tough-love situations--it will make him feel a little better in the short term, but it just allows things to spiral more out of control in the long term if you let him get away with this.
Plus it hurts you too. That's why you are so tired.