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Things we can't afford to ignore
Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts
Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has BPD
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Author Topic: How long before the next break-up?  (Read 462 times)
dangoldfool
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 115


« on: August 09, 2013, 02:42:23 PM »

I wanted to ask is there any average time frames between break-ups. My ex GF and I were together for 3 years. What time frame, before the next guy gets dumped. I know I shouldn't care, but this guy is a child molester.  I guess that bother me the most about it. I know I need to, stop looking back, keep moving forward. Stop caring about it. It's easy to say, but very hard to do. I need to go running again. Wait up Forrest Gump. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Shall1989

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2013, 02:49:14 PM »

I don't think there is ever a strict cycle or time-frame and depends not just on the BPD person but also on the partner and how much they are willing to take.

They may get fed up very quickly, detach easily and leave. Or, they may feel helpless and sad by the devaluation of the BPD partner and want to stick around for their own validation.

Every relationship with someone who has BPD is different, although we can all compare and contrast, we cannot say or predict how anything will work.


Please try not to ruminate or obsess over your ex's new relationship and what she might be thinking/feeling.

Your post sounds like you are wanting to know how long you need to wait before they break up so that you can have another chance.

This is your golden opportunity to completely detach. Grasp it with both hands while her attention is elsewhere!


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dangoldfool
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 115


« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2013, 02:55:20 PM »

No I don't want another chance with her. I think my feeling is more revenge for the guy who knew we were a couple, when he came into the picture. Plus the fact of his child sex charges, makes me sick to think. Of all the people in the world to hook up with. She picks this looser. I need that run.
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Shall1989

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Posts: 17


« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2013, 03:33:50 PM »

Running is the best! Pounding the pavements lets your frustration on them out so effectively.

Do you have any races/fundraisers/marathons you could train for?

I did a half marathon in May and having something to work towards, rather than just going running, really helped me focus and also the sense of achievement made me feel so good about myself Smiling (click to insert in post)

They will not have a happy relationship. But you can and you can be happy. That is the best revenge of all - a silent victory for you Smiling (click to insert in post)
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dangoldfool
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 115


« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2013, 05:52:25 PM »

Running is the best! Pounding the pavements lets your frustration on them out so effectively.

Do you have any races/fundraisers/marathons you could train for?

I did a half marathon in May and having something to work towards, rather than just going running, really helped me focus and also the sense of achievement made me feel so good about myself Smiling (click to insert in post)

They will not have a happy relationship. But you can and you can be happy. That is the best revenge of all - a silent victory for you Smiling (click to insert in post)

I just started running a few weeks ago. Not close to race ready. Running 1 mile wipes me out, and not fast at that, just under 12 minutes. But it takes my mind off the bad relationship at least for 12 minutes of the day. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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