This is the leaving board. I am in my heart of hearts already gone but not physically.
Stalling... . quite frankly, I was in a holding pattern just like you for way too long. Right now, it's fear keeping you bound up. I had to come to grips with my fears to make the next step. I had to be honest with myself on what I was fearing. What was the worst that could possibly happen, and what were the chances that the worst WOULD happen? Nothing seems to get as bad as our worst fears. When it was done and over with, it turned out to be much easier than what I had hoped.
Somebody posted a quote by Winston Churchill on this site a number of years ago, and it became my mantra. I read it countless times and put it in my signature on these posts. It motivated me to do
something.
Skip is right... . bad thing happen when relationships are stalled. The biggest horror stories I have regarding my exBPDw was when my mind and heart were already gone, but I was physically still in my marriage. I was in Leaving, but hadn't left or even making any serious plans. I was "checked out", and my exBPDw sensed it. She decided to stir things up. Those were the worst days of my life.
