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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Got a text  (Read 537 times)
topknot
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321



« on: September 21, 2014, 09:10:10 PM »

I was at a trade show/conference today and get a text.  "Oh, hi J" (no name mentioned,  just the letter). I have a buyer for your Bowflex. My daughter-in-law will put it in her dance studio", blah,  blah. Haven't set eyes on him for months. Then right after that,  "Sorry, wrong recipient". Really? Really? I'm gonna fall for that? If it wasn't for 300 posts on this forum, I would have written back and fell for the hook once again.  Thank you, BPD family... .so clear now, when I hit that delete button. AAAmen... .
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10403



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« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2014, 08:10:50 PM »

I'm happy to hear it didn't trigger you for a response. It feels peaceful and calmer to not engage doesn't it?  Smiling (click to insert in post)
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
goldylamont
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1083



« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2014, 08:26:27 PM »

good for you for not getting hooked onto this 'fishing' technique! bravo!
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fromheeltoheal
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642


« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2014, 08:29:03 PM »

Yes, the process becomes so clear when we hang around here and read up for a while.  Her contact attempts were totally transparent once I learned what was up, and it was also very sobering to realize how blind and hooked I was before I knew.  Live and learn, and good for you!
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topknot
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 321



« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2014, 09:25:44 PM »

Thank you all -- it feels awesome not getting charmed into the web of hell once again. I fell for so, so many of these "lures" before I found this forum. A relationship should never have been so painful and tumultuous as to make a person physically ill. I was gaunt, pale, and running on pots of coffee from him texting and calling all God blessed night, literally until the sun rose, listening to his drunk lecturing about every leaf that blew by. I love my peace now... .
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