So Relieved to find this message board...

[Starless]

Hello everyone. I very recently married a man with BPD. We got married pretty quick because most of the time he is very sweet, kind, and cuddly moreso than anyone I have ever met in my life. He works, he helps out around the house though sometimes I have to ask him first, and he is usually a lot of fun to be around. The more I look into BPD, though, the more worried I get. I have dealt with his overly emotional behavior, and I have dealt with his "the sky is falling" mentality fairly well. The behavior he exhibits that troubles me and that I am just now noticing is pathological lying. For example, he lied about what state he was born in, not only to me, but when we applied for our marriage license. He just had his mom send him a copy of his birth certificate, so that's how I found out. I confronted him calmly and was as understanding as I could possibly be, but he is now trying to tell me his mom lied about where he was born, which I know isn't true, and he got ultra defensive and asked if I just wanted him to leave. Frustration is an understatement, as I'm sure all of you know. I'm just glad by all accounts he has never been outwardly violent, but then again I worry constantly about him hurting himself. I'm very glad to find this forum and talk to people who know what I'm going through. He has agreed to go back to therapy, but I'm terrified that it's not going to work. :'(

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Starless & 

I'm really sorry for the frustration and pain you are going through with your Husband, but the fact that he is willing to go to Therapy is really a great sign! So many of the members of this site cannot get their BPD loved one to agree to that, so you are one step ahead of lots of us 

Have you had the chance to check out the links to the right-hand side of this page? The Feature Articles linked to under the photos at the top of the threads listed on this Board? The Lessons to the right are a very valuable learning tool, and learning about Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it and TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth can really help to give you a handle on how to make things better in your relationship.

If you are worried about his safety, Depression and Suicidal Ideation can give you some good insights into understanding that, as well as TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts. We have lots of very good educational and insightful information on this site, and coming here and telling us more of your story and asking more of your questions, can also really help. I'm so sorry for the pain and stress you are going through, Starless... .We'd love to help