Day 13 and NC broken.

[Targeted]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

[Splitblack4good]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

Targeted you were only saying to me the past few days that you thought contact from her was coming your way some how. It's strange what your ex has emailed you is what I text my ex with BPD ! Are you finding it difficult to not reply ? Or are you not shocked that she did send that ?

[guy4caligirl]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

Targeted you were only saying to me the past few days that you thought contact from her was coming your way some how. It's strange what your ex has emailed you is what I text my ex with BPD ! Are you finding it difficult to not reply ? Or are you not shocked that she did send that ?

In my opinion , after what they did to us and went NC , I won't respond , keep the last word , is that going to change things for you ?

[Splitblack4good]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

Targeted you were only saying to me the past few days that you thought contact from her was coming your way some how. It's strange what your ex has emailed you is what I text my ex with BPD ! Are you finding it difficult to not reply ? Or are you not shocked that she did send that ?

In my opinion , after what they did to us and went NC , I won't respond , keep the last word , is that going to change things for you ?

The only reason I text my ex merry Xmas and happy new year was not to get a response from her as she had been texting me now and then but I ignored them it was mearly a il see you around I'm getting on with life message ! And in the same message I said please do not contact me again . It's been nearly 4 days since I sent that and she hasn't replied or text since then so I can only assume she is respecting that .

[Faith1520]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

I think you made a great choice! When dealing with pw/BPD I look at NC as a way of sticking up for yourself and keeping the control (after years of giving it up!)  It seems like they often want to have their cake and eat it it, too. Good for you, Targeted!

[evilpepsi]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

Maybe this is just my personal experience, but the first BPDex wanted one last romp to say goodbye and the last one mentioned it both times that I tried to leave. Could be what she has in mind bro... .

[evilpepsi]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?   

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!   

Targeted you were only saying to me the past few days that you thought contact from her was coming your way some how. It's strange what your ex has emailed you is what I text my ex with BPD ! Are you finding it difficult to not reply ? Or are you not shocked that she did send that ?

In my opinion , after what they did to us and went NC , I won't respond , keep the last word , is that going to change things for you ?

They DEFINITELY have to have that last word, hahaha. I used to drive my ex crazy with that. I would even tell her to go ahead and get in the last word and when she did I would usually respond with whew, good, or ok just for shifts and giggles... .

[Mutt]

Told her I was done and went nc,   got a email from a different phone number today saying that it was her and she said.     Can we say our goodbyes before christmas? Can we have proper closure?  

Her cheating and all else she did to me is closure enough for me!    I did not respond!

Hope shes happy!    

Shoot first. Aim later.

Lack of impulse control and consideration of the consequences of impulse.

Per title. You didn't respond and hence didn't break contact. You can only control yourself and put boundaries on yourself. If she responds with X I respond with Y ( not responding ) Be prepared for more emails and attempts. Keep at no contact to detach  

[Targeted]

Just letting people know what is happening, I am not surprised at all she is trying to contact me and I do not feel like responding to her. SPLIT--  if I am further along than you are  in this process I can keep posting things that happen  so you know whats coming your way, my guess is that my Ex is going to get frustrated that I do not respond to her and she is eventually going to just show up, they are selfish brats that need to get their own way! They have no boundaries, they are going to kick and scream like a three-year-old that did not get their ice cream. Only they are adults and have adult means such as being able to drive and carry out their promotional plan. She knows where I work and she knows where I live and I think she's going to want to get her own way and see me. Only I do not want to see her!

Replace LOVE with NEED, and I think it makes a lot more sense how these relationships go!

It is nice to be needed to a certain degree but I think you get more love being wanted instead!

They obviously have no idea of the difference between a need and a want!  Two very simple words with two totally different meanings.

I do not need a girlfriend, I am fine on my own, but I want someone,  they NEED someone.

They are full of need. And that is not love, I want somebody that doesn't need me but just wants to be with me, I think that would be better.   Are what you know if I am right and she just shows up Someday!   I'm still trying to figure out what I will do if that happens, I guess it would all be situational depending on the where and when but either way I already know it's not going to have a happy ending.  If she shows up the house I'll probably just Cornerhouse and ignore her, if she shows up my work I may have to call the police.  I'm thinking about all these things, why would I give somebody something that they need that does not deserve it?

[Targeted]

Shoot first. Aim later.

Lack of impulse control and consideration of the consequences of impulse.

Per title. You didn't respond and hence didn't break contact. You can only control yourself and put boundaries on yourself. If she responds with X I respond with Y ( not responding ) Be prepared for more emails and attempts. Keep at no contact to detach  [/quote]
Thanks mutt, I did not look at it that way that I did not break NC because I did not respond,  I know I was very very good to her, I was pretty much her longest relationship and not only in a dating kind of way but in a domesticated home type setting which she really has never had for more than one year, in that is the very thing that she wants or at least says that she does, so even though I am not perfect she knows I can supply her with what she wants, but she let her needs kill that!  Her lack of impulse control is just making me expect her need get to me to start to escalate from here.  She definitely is a 50 year old child,, she cannot call or email me from her phone or email account so she used someone else's phone to email me, when that doesn't work She's still going to be a three-year-old that is determined to get her ice cream I believe.

[Splitblack4good]

Targeted is she still with her bf ? Or do you not know ? You are way further along than me I beleive you are 5 months out I'm only just over one month . Yes please do keep me updated on what happens . Did you think at 13 days you might not hear from her for at least a while longer or did you think knowing her like you do 1-13 days would be expected ?

[Splitblack4good]

The other thing is aswell I have a gut feeling I won't hear from my ex now (not that I want to) I truly beleive out of sheer stubborness on her part she won't she has got to be the most stubborn person I've met in my entire life ! Plus she has ran out of things to say now the fact she did not reply to my last text tells me this aswell.she always has to have the last word but this time she does not seem fussed . I may be totally wrong about this but I'll wait and see .

She is keeping busy with my replacement so I doubt she is even thinking of me . I know this because our mutuel freinds have not seen her much as she is constantly with him clinging to him like s**t to a blanket !

[Targeted]

I do not know she actually does have a boyfriend. I never look on social media or anything, I know she can be alone so I'm sure she has somebody and I don't care because she cheated which means she had somebody while we were together too, but just like all her other relationships whoever it is is not going to be able to tolerate her either so whether or not she has another victim yet is irrelevant.  As far as the contact goes, I think it will be as consistent as their emotions, I knew she was going to contact me again eventually somehow even while blocked and I know she is eventually going to just show up because I wont answer her using a new avenue, I know I was a different relationship for her,  I was not her 3 month throw away,  I was over 9 years total of emotional support until her BPD took Over because we progressed into a NORMAL working relationship.   That's not normal to them so they run, but then they see what they lost and want it back and hate it at the same time!    Weird!

[Mutt]

That's not normal to them so they run, but then they see what they lost and want it back and hate it at the same time!    Weird!

The pendulum swings from fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment. You feel like your walking on eggshells. The disorder is triggered with intimacy.

[Targeted]

Yes mutt, that seems accurate ,  I know my relationship with my ex was unlike any other relationship she's ever had, in true fashion she could seduce a man get him into the relationship and in bed in no time flat and discarded him just as quickly, her relationships have generally done the 3–4 months cycle!  Those people I believe I just easily tossed and forgotten, The way our relationship developed it was slow and steady moving from friendship to relationship over the course of a total of 9 1/2 years,  that is how normal lasting bonds and relationships develop, I don't think she has ever experienced that but I believe that is why we were together as long as we were!  But in the end it did not matter Because The disorder won!

She is still trying to get to me I believe because she knows something was different.

Maybe it was but she was not willing to do anything different to keep it!

It's not my problem anymore, my only problem is my addiction to her, it's getting better every day though, if this were a perfect world and she submitted to getting help from what I read I would have around four years of work with her to see a improvement, only having a improvement from here is far from perfect world, she is over 50 years old so I think because she has been this way for this long actually changing is impossible.

[Targeted]

And that is sad