My wife and my sister in law are both diagnosed BPD. My brother in law is
classic NPD, undiagnosed. And my very own mother has her share of BPD traits, though not like she did when she was younger.
My sister in law does not get along with my brother in law - no surprise because nobody gets along with him too well. My sister in law tends to want to get close to my wife, but my wife rejects her, and also rejects my mother. I think she rejects both because they exhibit BPD qualities that hit too close to home. She claims my mom "lacks and identity" and talks too much about other people. She says the same about my sister in law.
As you can imagine, family functions are a fun time
It's pretty funny to watch my husband complain about the things his son does, and it's like he has NO CLUE he does the exact same thing. The odd thing is my son-in-law was not raised anywhere near my husband. He got a girl pregnant when he was young and they were both homeless living in abandoned buildings. He was going to marry her to raise the child, but she didn't have any interest in being a mother. She left the child with him and he had him for five months before her mother asked to see him for a weekend. After she picked him up, her and her gf (the grandmother) ran off to another state with him. This was all before the Internet and everything, so he wasn't very successful finding him.
I would only believe parts of this is my husband's mom didn't confirm the core parts of it. She was there helping him with the baby.
Well after 20+ years, his son returned to our state and looked him up last year. We have been building a relationship and visiting with them which I felt was great, and it might be helpful to both of them.
Even though he wasn't raised or around his dad, he is definitely BPD. They say the similar things, like similar things, have similar behaviors... .the similarities are bizarre. His wife and I talk about it and always end up laughing at how much they are the same.
It really has gotten me wondering how much of people's personalities is genetic and how much is from how you were raised. I have always thought it was a combination of nature and nurture with nurture being more important, but I am questioning that ratio.