Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
October 31, 2024, 06:22:42 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Reality is becoming a blur
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Reality is becoming a blur (Read 438 times)
Loosestrife
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 612
Reality is becoming a blur
«
on:
March 14, 2015, 04:58:54 AM »
My BPD SO is constantly manipulating everyone and wants to have any other diagnosis other than BPD. I am constantly validating and use the techniques. I am one person at home and another at work/ with others who live in the real world and are reasonable - How do people live this lie/double life?
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Michelle27
Offline
Posts: 754
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #1 on:
March 14, 2015, 09:12:03 AM »
Oh wow, do I ever understand that double life... .I lived it for the better part of a decade when my husband's mental health unraveled 9 years ago after we found out his son from his first marriage had been horribly sexually abused. I believe he was very high functioning BPD until then, but his son's abuse brought up his own childhood abuse and he snapped. Finally now, he's working towards getting a diagnosis and treatment. To the outside world, I am a pillar of strength and giving but in my marriage, for a long time I felt like a victim until I was able to do a lot of major inner work in the past few years. It's hard, but I think the key is to work on being the same person in all parts of our lives. Easier said than done, I know.
Logged
Riverrat
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Live in girlfriend
Posts: 96
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #2 on:
March 14, 2015, 10:05:16 AM »
Yes, I SOO get the double life. I can't be myself around dBPDgf, and I think she even recognizes this, but can't process that fact. She is constantly correcting me, and projecting like crazy as of late.
NO ONE believes what we go through, except maybe a T. Even went to my Mom's house with her this week, and she was the perfect gf in all regards, even offering to help mom with household projects, and talking 50's music with her. But in the truck on the way home she starts giving me crap.
Sometimes I wonder--If I came home one day and she was gone, how would I really feel? Could I go back to being my true self?
Logged
bluejeans
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Committed relationship for almost 9 years. We were officially broken up for 3 months a couple of years ago.
Posts: 92
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #3 on:
March 14, 2015, 11:09:34 AM »
It's so hard. It is so comforting to talk to other reasonable people. I realize I can be myself and not so uptight about what to say - and it works out fine with them!
Logged
Loosestrife
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 612
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #4 on:
March 14, 2015, 05:38:38 PM »
I can relate to being criticised for using the wrong words or just for how my voive sounds. I'm fed up with 'illness' being an excuse. BPD isn't even an illness- it's a disorder!
Logged
EaglesJuju
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1653
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #5 on:
March 14, 2015, 07:47:21 PM »
Hi Loosestrife,
I understand how frustrating it can get coping with the behaviors. It can take a toll on anyone. What do you do to cope when your SO is acting a certain way?
Quote from: Loosestrife on March 14, 2015, 04:58:54 AM
My BPD SO is constantly manipulating everyone and wants to have any other diagnosis other than BPD.
How is your SO manipulating everyone?
Logged
"In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to Believe. We simply need to believe in the power that is within us, and use it." -Benjamin Hoff
JohnLove
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 571
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #6 on:
March 14, 2015, 07:50:28 PM »
I agree Loosestrife, it is mental "illness" in common parlance, but it really is the result of DISORDERED thinking and a DISORDERED state of being.
The more I experience and the more I read I am left wondering just how much is avoidable?, how much is manipulation?, and how much is the disorder?... .because I have experienced idealisation and pwBPD don't seem to have too much trouble with themselves or interacting with others then... .?
Logged
Loosestrife
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 612
Re: Reality is becoming a blur
«
Reply #7 on:
March 18, 2015, 03:12:34 PM »
Quote from: EaglesJuju on March 14, 2015, 07:47:21 PM
Hi Loosestrife,
I understand how frustrating it can get coping with the behaviors. It can take a toll on anyone. What do you do to cope when your SO is acting a certain way?
Quote from: Loosestrife on March 14, 2015, 04:58:54 AM
My BPD SO is constantly manipulating everyone and wants to have any other diagnosis other than BPD.
I try to use tools off here and not jump in to rescue. It difficult when I see outright manipulation but if I mention it all hell breaks lose
How is your SO manipulating everyone?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Reality is becoming a blur
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...