Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
June 15, 2024, 03:32:23 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
81
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: A Lesson for Those Staying for the Kids  (Read 520 times)
KaishaMikasa
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 86



« on: December 04, 2015, 03:06:35 PM »

As many of you know I have separated from and in the process of divorce DPWBPD of nearly 18 years.  Today I took my youngest son to a therapist to discuss his transition during the divorce.  To be clear the boys are living with me and she has moved out.  The therapist pulled me aside afterward and told me my son said "the divorce is a relief" and "it is better being with dad than mom".  I should have sent her out sooner.  I spent so much time worrying about getting her better and containing the damage with the kids while she was here that I missed the obvious choice. My rescuing of her may have cost my kids.  DON'T STAY FOR THE KIDS!  It is only hurting them more.
Logged
Michelle27
******
Offline Offline

Posts: 754


« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2015, 09:50:33 PM »

Absolutely right.  I made that mistake for a long time.  During the last few years with my ex, our daughter had an emotional meltdown about once or twice a month over a variety of things.  Since the 6 months since the ex moved, our daughter has had TWO meltdowns.  Two.  And this is with her father having disappeared totally from her life by changing his phone number and not bothering to let her know for the past 3.5 months. You'd think she'd be a mess, but she's not.  She's doing better than she has in years.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!