Frustration

[JerryRG]

I grew up with an unrecoverd alcohic father who eventually killed himself.

My mother smoked until she developed lung cancer.

My ex wife refuses to care for herself in any way.

My point is, the most frustrating part of my relationship with my ex BPDgf was/is she has the most beautiful son in the world, our son, and yet she refused drug treatment, DBT, taking meds on a routine schedule, basically anything to improve her life thus being the best mother for our son. Do these people not get they are harming innocent children because of their stubborn refusal to get the help they need?

I have been in counceling and hospitals and therapys and tried all the new promising anti depressants and I'm not bragging I'm stating fact. I DON'T WANT MY ISSUES TO AFFECT MY CHILDREN!

Now I'm in AA and Alanon to get well and fight for my life, I've seen it all, lost my best friend when I was 15, riding with someone who didn't know how to drive, doctor said he believed I would die. I went right back into that abusive family and hung on. Again 3 years later, got into the wrong car, driver crashed into a farm tractor killing another best friend. Crushed femor and woke up ok, 3 days later an embolism. Family was gathered because my chances were not good. Various suicide attempts I ended up respiratory arest and comatose, wake up fine, other attempts brought me close to death.

All in all, 6 times at deaths door and I walk away.

I never gave up

My dad killed himself in his car and burned alive and I was there to see him. I held my mother's hand while she breathed her last breath.

I just answered my own question, I guess my ex BPD will have to get to the point I am at before she chooses to change.

[Turkish]

Jerry,

The fact that you are here is a huge sign that you can make a difference in your children's lives, despite the horrible things you endured as a child. 

T.

[Mutt]

Hi JerryRG,

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood. You went through a lot. It sounds like you're a fighter. I think that you have a son together? How old is he?

[JerryRG]

Hi Mutt,

I am a fighter, I guess I never looked at it as a positive because the way I looked at it I really had no choice. I always fought for truth because I could never accept the craziness I grew up in. Acceptance is something I have to learn.

We have a son, he will be 2 April 18, it has been the fight of my life dealing with her and trying to be in our sons life.

Thank you for your kind words

[Mutt]

We have a son, he will be 2 April 18, it has been the fight of my life dealing with her and trying to be in our sons life.

I know it's brutal. This won't last forever. Do you have a court order?

[JerryRG]

Yes I do mutt, she kept him from me for the first 6 months because I was a threat, she told me each time I visited him that I would never be alone with him, that she would find a good dad for him. The. She abandoned him so yeah that poor little guy is suffering from her illness. Been tough on all of us and her family acknowledges mom is in no way fit to parent but they fall into denial and do nothing. I can't afford an attorney at the moment. Just pray the damage isn't too great before she cycles into another depression and loses her fractured grip on reality.