Feeling guilty about doing ok?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hey all,

I posted another thread about a pretty bad break up with an ex who has BPD.

I attended my first counselling session this week post breakup, and it felt good to 'admit' to someone the kind of relationship I was in, how I was emotionally and physically abused, and I really felt like I turned a corner and finally accepted how toxic the relationship was for me, and since I've felt an almost palpable sense of relief.

My question though to my fellows, is do you feel guilty when you start to feel ok? I'm in a really good mood, and have been for a couple of days. I'm moving house soon, my social life has blossomed, I'm starting to get attention from girls again, and I've broken FINALLY out of the wallowing stage (about 8 weeks since initial breakup. I know there will be days I do feel down, and I know this, but there's a small part of me that feels like I should be allowed to feel happy... .like I almost owe it to my ex to carry on being miserable. Is this normal post BPD breakup?

[duncsvoice]

Hey all,

I posted another thread about a pretty bad break up with an ex who has BPD.

I attended my first counselling session this week post breakup, and it felt good to 'admit' to someone the kind of relationship I was in, how I was emotionally and physically abused, and I really felt like I turned a corner and finally accepted how toxic the relationship was for me, and since I've felt an almost palpable sense of relief.

My question though to my fellows, is do you feel guilty when you start to feel ok? I'm in a really good mood, and have been for a couple of days. I'm moving house soon, my social life has blossomed, I'm starting to get attention from girls again, and I've broken FINALLY out of the wallowing stage (about 8 weeks since initial breakup. I know there will be days I do feel down, and I know this, but there's a small part of me that feels like I should be allowed to feel happy... .like I almost owe it to my ex to carry on being miserable. Is this normal post BPD breakup?

[Mutt]

I know there will be days I do feel down, and I know this, but there's a small part of me that feels like I should be allowed to feel happy... .like I almost owe it to my ex to carry on being miserable. Is this normal post BPD breakup?

Hi duncsvoice,



I can relate with that. Do you also have feelings of obligation to your ex with feelings of guilt? You may find this article about self care helpful. Self-care is good and it's good to do a lot of self care.

PERSPECTIVES: What does it mean to take care of yourself?

[Ella421]

I thought I was the only one who felt this way...

I've also seen my therapist last week. She said that I shouldn't feel guilty about trying to move on because we also have to get on with our lives.

We all deserve a chance at a happy and healthy relationships. Borderline or non Borderline. But you do have to put yourself first.