setting boundaries question

[wantmorepeace]

Any opinions re language when setting boundaries?  Is it better to say "can't," "won't," or "don't want to"?

Or is it better to avoid that negative language all together?

The situation is telling my bpd sibling clearly that I won't talk to them about their conflict with my daughter.

[zachira]

Think about how effective advertisers are when they use a slogan. People remember easily short sentences that they hear over and over again. With your sibling, trying to explain how you feel at any length will only give her the supply she is looking for, making you upset so she does not have to deal with her overwhelming feelings. So you can say something like: I am done talking to you for now.

[CC43]

I agree with Zachira's take, keep it short and sweet if you can.  The pwBPD and BPD traits in my life will listen to maybe 10 words, tops, in any instances of conflict.

Options might be:

*I'm not getting in the middle.
*I'm not talking about this behind her back.
*That's between you and her.
*It's really none of my business.
*I'm sure you can work this out yourselves.