Broken-hearted
Fewer than 3 Posts
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1
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« on: August 29, 2017, 03:02:54 AM » |
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Hi I have read this website over and over again. . It has given me so much confidence to know that I have done the right thing by finally saying enough is enough to my husband . I have been married before and have 2 children and my husband had 4 children from previous relationships . We met online and it was like a fairy tale for me he was everything I had ever wanted and ticked the boxes . He was very adamant I was the one and pushed to move in and pushed to get engaged . There were warning signs early on but I was too madly in love to want to take notice . He would get cross very fast and bolt to his City pad sometimes for just days but could be up to 3 weeks of no real communication and definitely wouldnt meet up to talk - maybe random song lyrics would be text to me , odd texts but never a phone call or face to face - His family and his mother have all put stress on us , his work and his physical ailments and his drinking ! Gradually life was becoming less fun and about us but more about him and the stress around him - until Away on romantic weekend he got drunk and while I had gone to bed he had a fight in the hotel where police involved . I agreed to move on from this as he persuaded me he had never done this before and it was stress and drink - but he did it again this time infront of me at a music concert , I couldn't stop him drinking and he wanted to fight anyone - I called security on him but it was too late - he looked like an animal totally out of control he couldn't see or hear me , I had nearly got hurt in the argument he was having he wasn't protecting me anymore , I felt I needed protecting from him . I decided I could not have him home with my two children and from this moment on it spiralled out of control ! I wanted him to get help as he was already having night terrors where he was hitting me and screaming always about his father who had abused him , he needed help ! I thought by not having him home he would do it - but I was wrong - it all started to become my fault , and from love desperation and hurt came anger and blame to me . I worked with him in his business and without telling me he stopped my salary and resigned me from his business , stopped the joint credit card and so I was now financially seperated from him with no income - he was demanding money from our savings in the house safe and because I would not hand over he became the victim and I was the selfish one - I couldn't communicate with him anymore he wouldn't meet me just texting all the time - if I didn't reply it would escalate from one minute he loved me missing us , the next he can't see me changing , he doesn't deserve what I'm doing to him the way I'm treating him , me keeping his money the trust has gone it's over ( even though I have only ever said I love and support him and wanted this to work but he must now get help ) he cut me financial off what was I to do - the pain and heart ache I have gone through has been immense I felt broken , confused , analysing everything , blaming myself if only I had answered his text quicker this wouldn't have happened - I have instructed solicitors for a financial separation - I didn't want to divorce as I had hoped he would get help and we could try again but actually looking back at his previous life that he told me about he lived opposite his ex and 3 kiddies in a rented flat for a whole year and went back , he had left her 3 times and of course it was never his fault , I think perhaps a divorce now may be best so not to have contact and drama in two years when one of us file for divorce - he is living at his mums house which he brought for her around the corner from where I live ( always said it was too close but I had no say in the matter and so now I worry about my 10 yr old going to play and bumping into him ) he has also brought a dog from a rescue and is walking the local streets where I walk my dogs ( does he want to bump into me ?) as solicitor has requested no contact via phone text or to the house - having him so close makes me very anxious - my children were both upset but now are recovering but out of sight out of mind does help I just wish he would go to The city like he used to do . Waiting on his solicitor to return from holiday to begin the nasty and I know it will be nasty negotiations on the split - its been 7 weeks now and I have had 3 days of not crying and I am starting to feel stronger again . I loved this man so much , at times he was perfect , but this other side to him was coming more frequent and he would sleep for days sometimes even when his kids come to visit and I began to get anxious about having them as they too had many issues with their mum and what they were living through - I had tried to love and treat them like my own when i met them they were 5,8,10 so very venerable but I never felt I had his support and he was always ill or down and sleeping , the rare times he was up we had amazing times but they were less frequent - Although my husband said his relationship with his ex had been over for a year sleeping in separate rooms and he had finally moved to his mums for 3 months before meeting me - I know wonder if this was just another of his flees and she was expecting him home again which would explain why she hates me so much and was angry and hostile to me . I had no idea what I was taking on . This whirlwind of great ups and downs has taken its toll on me and the hardest thing is to walk away from someone you know is ill and you love so much but I know I can't help him anymore . Heart-broken
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