Personality Types

[Depression = 72% of members]

I was just reading about personalities and I took a test that did my Myers-Briggs and it also pointed out some really big flaws that made me suspectable to a pwBPD. I wonder what the most common personality type for our community is? This is just out of pure curiosity - as mine tells me I have a big vulnerability.

So I'm ENFJ -> https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

So near the bottom:

"The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as ENFJs’ altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren’t careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they’re ready or willing to go.

ENFJs are vulnerable to another snare as well: they have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings, but if they get too caught up in another person’s plight, they can develop a sort of emotional hypochondria, seeing other people’s problems in themselves, trying to fix something in themselves that isn’t wrong. If they get to a point where they are held back by limitations someone else is experiencing, it can hinder ENFJs’ ability to see past the dilemma and be of any help at all. When this happens, it’s important for ENFJs to pull back and use that self-reflection to distinguish between what they really feel, and what is a separate issue that needs to be looked at from another perspective."

Yup. That's me... .kind scary accurate.

[SuperJew82]

I was just reading about personalities and I took a test that did my Myers-Briggs and it also pointed out some really big flaws that made me suspectable to a pwBPD. I wonder what the most common personality type for our community is? This is just out of pure curiosity - as mine tells me I have a big vulnerability.

So I'm ENFJ -> https://www.16personalities.com/enfj-personality

So near the bottom:

"The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as ENFJs’ altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren’t careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they’re ready or willing to go.

ENFJs are vulnerable to another snare as well: they have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings, but if they get too caught up in another person’s plight, they can develop a sort of emotional hypochondria, seeing other people’s problems in themselves, trying to fix something in themselves that isn’t wrong. If they get to a point where they are held back by limitations someone else is experiencing, it can hinder ENFJs’ ability to see past the dilemma and be of any help at all. When this happens, it’s important for ENFJs to pull back and use that self-reflection to distinguish between what they really feel, and what is a separate issue that needs to be looked at from another perspective."

Yup. That's me... .kind scary accurate.

[Panda39]

Hi SuperJew82

Here is a link to a board wide Myers Briggs survey... .

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=60827.0

Panda39
(INFJ)

[SuperJew82]

Thanks for the link... .and wow... .what a ton of posts on that and a survey showing ZERO correlation ( except for the "Intuition" numbers being wonky) :P

Still an interesting topic!

[Hisaccount]

ISTP-A

Very interesting, both threads. I hadn't seen that test before. Heard of it but never took it.

I see why you wonder that, but maybe the question should be which personality traits last the longest with a BPD LOL

Everyone has different experiences growing up, attracted to different things. Add the broad spectrum of BPD and it would be hard to pin down who is most likely to be sought after.

[flourdust]

The lack of correlation doesn't surprise me. The Myers-Briggs is not much used in psychological research because of its lack of reliability and validity. That means that it's difficult to get consistent results with the test, and without consistent results, the findings aren't useful. (If your bathroom scale said you weighed 150 pounds on Monday, 210 pounds on Tuesday, and 95 pounds on Wednesday, you'd stop using that scale!)

The Big Five model is one of the more valid models of personality in use today. It doesn't provide neat 4-letter categories, but its results are predictive of patterns of behavior. There's been some recent research to extend this five factor model (FFM) into a five factor model of personality disorders (FFMPD). For example... .

The majority of PDs are characterized by significant positive relations with Neuroticism, significant negative relations with Extraversion, significant negative relations with Agreeableness, and significant negative relations with Conscientiousness. ... .  In the case of antisocial PD, it is characterized primarily by low levels of Agreeableness facets (i.e., low levels of trust, straightforwardness, altruism, and compliance) and low levels of Conscientiousness facets (i.e., low levels of competence, dutifulness, self-discipline, and deliberation). Although borderline PD also shows a similar pattern of associations with these facets, in addition (unlike anti-social PD), borderline PD is significantly positively related to all Neuroticism facets (i.e., anxiousness, angry hostility, depressiveness, self-consciousness, impulsiveness, and vulnerability).

The Five-Factor Model of Personality Disorder and DSM-5 (PDF Download Available). Available from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/221819797_The_Five-Factor_Model_of_Personality_Disorder_and_DSM-5 [accessed Oct 3, 2017].

[Skip]

Thanks for the link... .and wow... .what a ton of posts on that and a survey showing ZERO correlation ( except for the "Intuition" numbers being wonky) :P

Still an interesting topic!

The Intuition numbers most definitely show a correlation. 

[SuperJew82]

Which makes sense - here is a snippet from an "I" description:

Intuiting:

"They like ideas and inspiration and tend to have a focus on the future, where they will plan to change the world rather than continue to live in the imperfect present."

I think this boils down that we might be too "hopeful" and think the person is going to change or that love and motivation will prevail, etc... .

This is one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn as an eNjf: People usually don't change. If they do change - it takes a long time and they have to want to for their own selves, and not in order to save a relationship or please another person. Change can easily take years and years.

Just don't count on it happening anytime soon or even at all. There are always exceptions though, but those are few and far between as I have come to understand.

[once removed]

"The interest ENFJs have in others is genuine, almost to a fault – when they believe in someone, they can become too involved in the other person’s problems, place too much trust in them. Luckily, this trust tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as ENFJs’ altruism and authenticity inspire those they care about to become better themselves. But if they aren’t careful, they can overextend their optimism, sometimes pushing others further than they’re ready or willing to go.

ENFJs are vulnerable to another snare as well: they have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings, but if they get too caught up in another person’s plight, they can develop a sort of emotional hypochondria, seeing other people’s problems in themselves, trying to fix something in themselves that isn’t wrong. If they get to a point where they are held back by limitations someone else is experiencing, it can hinder ENFJs’ ability to see past the dilemma and be of any help at all. When this happens, it’s important for ENFJs to pull back and use that self-reflection to distinguish between what they really feel, and what is a separate issue that needs to be looked at from another perspective."

its a good idea to learn about your personality, the personality types of others, your compatibility with them, etc. im not sure you will find a myers briggs type that is uniquely drawn to someone with BPD traits. if you want to find correlation, people with narcissistic traits + people with BPD traits are a common match.

id encourage you to look into emotional maturity and levels of differentiation. while personality traits are largely "fixed", we can raise our level of differentiation.

An individual's overall life functioning is linked closely to his level of emotional maturity or differentiation. People select ... .partners who have the same level of emotional maturity. Emotional immaturity manifests in unrealistic needs and expectations. ~ Murray Bowen, M.D

The concept of Differentiation of Self is the ability to separate feelings and thoughts. Undifferentiated people can not separate feelings and thoughts; when dealing with relationships, they are flooded with feelings, and have difficulty thinking logically and basing their decisions on that. This often manifests as unrealistic needs and expectations.  Further, they have difficulty separating  their own feelings from the feelings of others.

Differentiation is described in many ways in the following points:

1. Growing in the ability to see where and how I fit into my relationship, the position I hold and the power that is and is not given to that position.

2. Growing in the ability to be fully responsible for my own life while being committed to growing closer to those I love.

3. Intentionally developing, at the same time, autonomy and intimacy. In developing autonomy I set myself towards achieving my dreams and ambitions. In developing intimacy, I allow those close to me to see and know me as I really am.

4. Being willing to say clearly who I am and who I want to be while others are trying to tell me who I am and who I should be.

5. Staying in touch with others while, and even though, there is tension and disagreement.

6. Being able to declare clearly what I need and requesting help from others without imposing my needs upon them.

7. Being able to understand what needs I can and cannot meet in my own life and in the lives of others.

8. Understanding that I am called to be distinct (separate) from others, without being distant from others.

9. Understanding that I am responsible to others but not responsible for others .

10. Growing in the ability to live from the sane, thinking and creative person I am, who can perceive possibilities and chase dreams and ambitions without hurting people in the process.

11. Growing in the ability to detect where controlling emotions and highly reactive behavior have directed my life, then, opting for better and more purposeful growth born of creative thinking.

12. Deciding never to use another person for my own ends and to be honest with myself about this when I see myself falling into such patterns.

13. Seeing my life as a whole, a complete unit, and not as compartmentalized, unrelated segments.

14. Making no heroes; taking no victims.

15. Giving up the search for the arrival of a Knight in Shining Armour who will save me from the beautiful struggles and possibilities presented in everyday living.

To differentiate is to provide a platform for maximum growth and personal development for everyone in your circle of influence. It means being able to calmly reflect on a conflicted interaction afterward, realizing your own role in it, and then choosing a different response for the future. Not to differentiate is to fuse (the failure to become a separate person) with others and to place responsibility on others (or on situations, predicaments, and hurdles) for the way in which our lives develop.

These widely accepted theory were developed by Murray Bowen, M.D. in the late 1940s and early 1950s when he was a psychiatrist at the Menninger Clinic. After his time at Menningers, he moved to the National Institute of Mental Health, then to Georgetown University Medical Center and finally established the Georgetown Family Center in Washington, D.C.

Bowen's therapy is a process of increasing one's differentiation or ability to balance automatic reactivity and subjectivity with a factual view of oneself and others.


www.bowentheoryacademy.org/6.html

www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/03/25/bowen-differentiation/

www.psychpage.com/learning/library/counseling/bowen.html

more here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279626.0

[Hisaccount]

Which makes sense - here is a snippet from an "I" description:

Intuiting:

"They like ideas and inspiration and tend to have a focus on the future, where they will plan to change the world rather than continue to live in the imperfect present."

Good point, They call me "Mr. Fix It" I have a plaque on my wall and everything.

One of my failures was thinking that we would both be working on the relationship to improve it instead of just me.