i caved ...now what..?

[dumpsterdog]

I caved hard the last coupld days trying to call her several times... i was worried, lonely, and just couldnt get my obsession under control... .however,

she did respond ,with an email , saying " i think it best not to talk "... .and she did tell me that her dogs had gotten into t bad fight and that she had been bitten  etc... .and that it was going to take a few weeks to heal... .


i replied " thanks for letting me know you are ok... .i wont bother you, but just wanted to make sure you were ok... .thanks for responding"... .and left it with " all my best "... .

She said( ALL VIA EMAILS , WHICH SHE SAID SHE HAD BLOCKED ) she hoped i was doing ok... .and obviously  the emails arent blocked anymore that is good... .now i have to back off completely, i know.
what to expect now.?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey dd, In my view, the best approach is to let go of any particular outcome.  This is a perfect opportunity to focus on yourself and your needs, which should come first but rarely do in a BPD r/s.  Chances are, you'll hear from her again when her fear of abandonment kicks in, so be prepared.  What would you like to see happen?  What are your gut feelings about the r/s?  What is the right path for you?  I know these are tough questions.

LuckyJim

[EdR]

Oh crap... .reading this is REALLY bad for me   

May I ask if she asked for NC? Given that she blocked you... .

This is what I struggle with: to be able to send that one message that might get through to her (/change her feelings/make her split white again/be able to go LC instead of NC). I have started a thread about this in the 'bettering' boards and we came to the conclusion it was best to leave her be. However, your example makes that really hard... .

Although I also know what's coming next: now that you've gotten your reply it will eventually start to feel like you want another hit. Just like an addiction. But looking at her reply, she doesn't really leave that option open: she says it's best not to talk... .

Oh man... .I hate to be in BOTH of our shoes 

[dumpsterdog]

Ed... you are funny  I DO WANT ANOTHER HIT... .however, i've learned through my battle with chemicals... .when you want another hit... .is EXACTLY WHEN YOU BETTER NOT TAKE ONE... .since she told me she was injured... i sent her a generic " feel beter card "... .with no speak of love or relationship... .just non chalant... : sorry to hear your hurt... .fell better ... all my best.

so... in the big picuter... I am still healing from a major construction accident injury... .I am in another state... .i cant travel due to injury for at least another 8 weeks... .prbably longer... .

so in my master  " psychic ability " foreshadowing ( a joke )... .I'm gonna lay back really low... .let her heal and let myself heal physically, and count on her touching base from time to time, and be very non nonchalant , with hope that by the time i get back to her town in a few months, we both might be in a better place emotional, mentally and physically... .so now im going back to no contact... .and if she contacts me... .going to be very short and to the point and make it obvious to her that i am not chasing.  we shall see what transpires.!