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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: My Ex left me again and I'm Suicidal  (Read 1054 times)
Melvins5000

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #60 on: April 03, 2018, 01:32:37 PM »

Hi lighthouse, how many sessions of DBT did you have - it's something I'm interested in trying.

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lighthouse9
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« Reply #61 on: April 03, 2018, 01:43:35 PM »

I saw a DBT therapist for about 5 or 6 sessions before I moved. We're still in touch and I'll likely see her again when I go back to the state for work once a month. We didn't specifically do DBT, but all of our sessions were DBT informed and she sent me home with skills to practice. The DBT program there was more reserved for people w/BPD, but they saw family members and spouses, too for individual sessions. I picked up the workbook and like it, but it's a bit hard to follow on your own.
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heartandwhole
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« Reply #62 on: April 03, 2018, 02:19:37 PM »

I've found this information about DBT skills helpful and practical:

DBTSelfHelp: Taking Hold of Your Mind

heartandwhole
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When the pain of love increases your joy, roses and lilies fill the garden of your soul.
Melvins5000

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« Reply #63 on: April 03, 2018, 02:31:43 PM »

Thankyou that's very good of you, I will take a look at that just now.
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lighthouse9
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« Reply #64 on: April 03, 2018, 07:20:23 PM »

I hope it's helpful Melvin!

One of the best things I've learned is about distraction. I'm the kind of person who has trouble not ruminating and I was raised to think it was wrong to not face everything head on. My therapist had me doing a lot of distraction, which for me has meant listening to a bunch of my favorite audiobooks - guilty pleasure kind of stuff. There's still so much that triggers me, but I've found a few good distractions that at least get me out of distress for a good part of the day.

Check out the DBT skills on distress tolerance -they've been where I'm focused.
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NGU
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Relationship status: Together since 2011. Married since 2013.
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« Reply #65 on: April 04, 2018, 06:55:42 AM »

Staff only

This thread has reached its post maximum, and is now locked. A continuation thread can be found here:

Here's the new thread.

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