Recovering from traumatic events

[Depression = 72% of members]

I haven't posted in awhile as most of don't when things start going well. I am back here again as things have gone horribly wrong. For almost four years we've had ups and downs but this last event was too much for me and I know in my heart it's time to make some life changes.

p/w BPD started really panicking over the last couple months over moving, job searching. A lot of changes were coming up. Started to really get stressed over work and heavily drinking. A drunk argument ended with a suicide threat. I took all the knives and and put them at a friend's. The next morning, drunk by noon. I poured out the alcohol. It set them off... .I was thrown up against a door and choked. I punched them in the face in self defense. It that moment I knew the person I loved had checked out and the BPD was reigning. Our dog had ran out in the hallway and after that. They ran and declared they were going to kill the dog and started kicking. I screamed and they stopped. I removed the dog and put the dog at a friend's. When I came back they had begun slashing their wrists (they got fired within those 10 minutes from the job) When I went to call 911, they threatened to go for the neck with the scissors they had in hand. They began making cuts at the neck with the scissors, luckily they were not sharp enough to reach the artery. Obviously I called because the floor was covered in blood and they needed immediate medical treatment. The police came, the paramedics came and due to our location they could not detain them for suicide attempts because the law does not apply to foreigners. The hospital staff and doctors strongly recommended it but they refused. I am working on sending them back to their home country and family. But it seems it won't happen overnight.

We did for a long time make months of progress... .And it was thanks to this forum and several recommended resources that we made it for long. I love this person very very deeply. However, this week showed me that I am in over my head and this person is beyond my level of help and emotional capacity. I have decided to detach and start the process of healing. I also feel that as of right now we cannot have a healthy relationship as it has in several instances become physical and unsafe for both parties.

The family is doing all the can to support the p/w BPD and get them home. I'm a mixture of everything. I'm surprised at how composed I can be, showing up to work and carrying on. I feel that I will eventually need to fall apart. It's only been a few days since the incident... .I'm not sure how to deal with it all. Or where one begins to try to recover and heal from such an event.

After the hospital and a change in meds, they are home and sober. I know that this won't be long lasting. I'm lucky to have such good friends, family and several emergency resources nearby who are on call for now. I know as long as the p/w BPD is in this environment it's a danger to themselves and a potential danger waiting to happen to me. I want to let go and I want everyone to just be safe and healthy.

Where do you start after cleaning up the blood and begin picking up pieces of your broken life? What kind of things should I expect? I know it will be difficult to part ways and to have the p/w BPD lose you as a person they are close to. But I don't think it can be harder than this week has been. I thought I would lose them forever this week. Any personal experiences, life advice, etc would be helpful. I am not sure entirely where to begin.

Thanks for being a listening ear and a safe place to vent. This website is truly a lifeline.

[eggfry]

I haven't posted in awhile as most of don't when things start going well. I am back here again as things have gone horribly wrong. For almost four years we've had ups and downs but this last event was too much for me and I know in my heart it's time to make some life changes.

p/w BPD started really panicking over the last couple months over moving, job searching. A lot of changes were coming up. Started to really get stressed over work and heavily drinking. A drunk argument ended with a suicide threat. I took all the knives and and put them at a friend's. The next morning, drunk by noon. I poured out the alcohol. It set them off... .I was thrown up against a door and choked. I punched them in the face in self defense. It that moment I knew the person I loved had checked out and the BPD was reigning. Our dog had ran out in the hallway and after that. They ran and declared they were going to kill the dog and started kicking. I screamed and they stopped. I removed the dog and put the dog at a friend's. When I came back they had begun slashing their wrists (they got fired within those 10 minutes from the job) When I went to call 911, they threatened to go for the neck with the scissors they had in hand. They began making cuts at the neck with the scissors, luckily they were not sharp enough to reach the artery. Obviously I called because the floor was covered in blood and they needed immediate medical treatment. The police came, the paramedics came and due to our location they could not detain them for suicide attempts because the law does not apply to foreigners. The hospital staff and doctors strongly recommended it but they refused. I am working on sending them back to their home country and family. But it seems it won't happen overnight.

We did for a long time make months of progress... .And it was thanks to this forum and several recommended resources that we made it for long. I love this person very very deeply. However, this week showed me that I am in over my head and this person is beyond my level of help and emotional capacity. I have decided to detach and start the process of healing. I also feel that as of right now we cannot have a healthy relationship as it has in several instances become physical and unsafe for both parties.

The family is doing all the can to support the p/w BPD and get them home. I'm a mixture of everything. I'm surprised at how composed I can be, showing up to work and carrying on. I feel that I will eventually need to fall apart. It's only been a few days since the incident... .I'm not sure how to deal with it all. Or where one begins to try to recover and heal from such an event.

After the hospital and a change in meds, they are home and sober. I know that this won't be long lasting. I'm lucky to have such good friends, family and several emergency resources nearby who are on call for now. I know as long as the p/w BPD is in this environment it's a danger to themselves and a potential danger waiting to happen to me. I want to let go and I want everyone to just be safe and healthy.

Where do you start after cleaning up the blood and begin picking up pieces of your broken life? What kind of things should I expect? I know it will be difficult to part ways and to have the p/w BPD lose you as a person they are close to. But I don't think it can be harder than this week has been. I thought I would lose them forever this week. Any personal experiences, life advice, etc would be helpful. I am not sure entirely where to begin.

Thanks for being a listening ear and a safe place to vent. This website is truly a lifeline.

[Emotions]

I remember when I first saw blood from her cutting herself I too was in over my head... .i remember panicking and trying to figure out how to solve an impossible situation that I couldn't control... .sorry you went through something so difficult to see, and thanks for sharing it. Please take care of yourself and your dog for the time being. Things will get better, have faith... .Peace, emotions

[Mutt]

Hi eggfry,



Wow. Im sorry that you went through that awful and trams’autic experience. Are you Ok? Are you safe? I’m glad that you’re a fan of the site. Welcome back to the family

[eggfry]

The last few days have been a whirlwind. But I am safe and okay (and the dog too!) I am very fortunate to have a strong support group around me, including you too. p/w BPD is finally sober and sticking to it. He doesn't have much of a choice now because there are a ton of people checking in on him and keeping watch. It's a bit of a relief, because I know it's not my job to do this and beyond any level of help I can provide. I'm feeling a lot better and can really start focusing on myself.

His parents are stepping in and we communicate everyday. Our plan is to make sure he gets home to family. From there we have decided to part ways but on good terms. He knows that this week was too far and too much and that we both need time to recover. I'm putting my safety first and have the police, building security guards, several friends in my building and a team of doctors right now supporting him and myself.

I hope that from here on out my updates will be positive and can share progress we are both making

[Mutt]

I'm putting my safety first and have the police, building security guards, several friends in my building and a team of doctors right now supporting him and myself.

Good for you   It sounds like you’ve made sensible decisions and you’re surrounded by a team and a support group I don’t have any advice for you other than take very good care of yourself. Keep us up to date.