Hey there Dumpsterdog,
Sending you greetings from the community and . How are you doing?
I suppose i won't rehash the stuff that has been said to you already, from what you've written below, i can see that you've got a pretty good handle on the situation and have identified some behavioral patterns your ex has been exhibiting over the past six years or so.
That being said, i'm a little curious about your desire in wanting to know what she'll do next. It seems like on one hand you have an intention to want to seem to move on quoting
So im heading back to Vegas... this week .have my own housing and job setup, and IM GOING TO ENJOY THE SUN... .and the music , and the food... .with some new friends... .definitely date new females... .and just let it be what it is... .
But yet at the same time, you seem to want to actively engage with your ex-partner despite sensing and being aware of all the "provocations, projections, guilt tripping". But do let me clarify my position that, there isn't a right answer to wanting to know what she'll do next. I'm just presenting facts and observations to your present set of circumstances.
By the way she also said " I don't want you just showing up at my house , or walking in the back yard... .unless you are invited , maybe we might meet somewhere for a bite , "
The motivation behind this phrase really is... ."Control". It is likely that she can't deal with uncertainty and only wants things done "her way" where she is in control
At this point, the only few things i can ascertain is that, since you are in communication with her, i would assume that she hasn't blocked you or painted you black permanently. However, in responding to her or, reaching out to her, her responses are to "project" and "guilt trip" whether intentionally or unintentionally, she is attempting to push your buttons during your exchanges.
The only thing i seem to have an inclination toward is, she would continue to engage you as some sort of supply as it seems to me that no one has yet to replace your position as "favourite person" and that she's trying to perhaps get you to be jealous in an effort to perhaps recycle you. Distance isn't an issue sometimes. And of course, it takes both of you to be willing to want a recycle.
So, this being the ":)etaching Board", i'll probably have to ask the hard question. What do you want by maintaining contact with her, while concurrently, seems that you're trying to move on?
Spero
