Desperate situation. Need help/advice.

[blueyedguy]

My wife of 4 years was recently diagnosed with BPD. It is however only in the last year when she became involved involved with drugs, cocaine and pills, that things have spun incredibly out of control.
Within this past year she has attempted suicide once, disappeared for entire weekends on numerous occasions without telling me where she is. She has been to rehab twice and the psyche ward twice.
She has a good job and is the only one working at present as i am disabled with sever neuropathy of the feet. However she has used all most all of her FMLA leave and im afraid she will lose her job soon.
She has blown nearly all our money on drugs.
She has been put on 3 different medications of which none have worked.
She has always lied and kept secrets but in the last few months her lying has become pathological.
At present we have only one vehicle as our second needs expensive repair. The last two weekends she has taken off with the car from Friday until Monday leaving me with no transportation.
She will text me begging me not to leave, saying she is sorry but things just keep repeating.
When she comes home she swears and promises things will be different but it never changes.
I highly suspect there may be another man involved.
The drug use combined with the BPD makes her become totally out of control. She will become verbally abusive and violent quickly.
She has threatened to call the cops on me and say i abused her when she doesnt get her way or I try to stop her from leaving.
I so afraid we are going to lose everything and i don't know what to do.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[hope2727]

hello and welcome. I am sorry you are enduing all this. Please keep reading and posting. There are amazing people here with lots of experience and advice. Do you have a support system for yourself? Have you considered Al-anon meetings, a therapist for yourself, and reaching out to friends and family for help? Know that you are not alone. Take gentle care of yourself in the meanwhile.

[Ozzie101]

I'm so sorry, blueyedguy. That sounds so awful, with multiple problems to deal with. I echo hope2727: do you have friends and family who could help you? Some sort of Al-anon support group could be helpful and could also be an avenue to other types of help in your community.

I know I've read threads here about how to protect yourself against false abuse allegations but at the moment I can't find it. Maybe someone else knows where it is but I'll try to find a link.

While it's important to learn tools to help in dysregulations, it sounds to me like you may also need to take some steps to protect yourself financially, physically, emotionally.