What does this mean?

[SomeoneNice]

Hello everyone

I have been in NC for 3 months and our breakup was around 4 and a half months ago. I was discarded brutally and blocked from everywhere. Except for my phone number in which she kept unblocking and then blocking it again whenever I call them unblocking it again after a few days and so on. I still don’t know what this means but I’m assuming it was for her to see if I’m still attached to her.

Recently she created a new Instagram account that popped to me coincidentally and to my surprise I was not blocked on it. Now, some of you might say that she might have forgot, but during the time I was with her in a relationship, she had created multiple new accounts and each time she would block all her ex’s even those that never contacted her in a long time. I was perhaps her longest and most loving relationship so I’m wondering why didn’t she block my account.

Note: I do share online university classes with her and I have to attend a lab class with only 6 students (including her) about once a week but we never really spoke a word nor even looked in each other’s direction.

[grumpydonut]

Hey,

Have a look at disorganised attachment. That explains what is going on here.

[Mutt]

Hi SomeoneNice,

There a lot of members that have exe’s that are not diagnosed and they may be have one BPD trait or they may may have have all 11. Some members have said that they’ve heard from their pwBPD within weeks, months years and one said that they still hadn’t heard from them after a decade and that’s if they truly suffer from BPD and not another PD.

My point is don’t look too much into these things with social media or being blocked on the phone etc. Shift your focus on what you can control. Do you really want to hear from someone that brutally blocked from every conceivable way? What if you were unblocked and you started talking to her again and what if you get blocked again the same way?

Wouldn’t the pain that you experience the first time and processing that pain be easier than reopening the wound over and over again? Granted if you were not given closure and things ended abruptly it’s natural to want to know why and what went wrong but if that person blocked you that telegraphs that they don’t have the emotional maturity to face you because they don’t know how to deal with the emotional reactions from a loved one.

The pain that they cause others is also a reflection. To them of their dysfunctional behaviors.

[poppy2]

Hey,

Have a look at disorganised attachment. That explains what is going on here.

Hi Grumpy Donut,

I'm curious, as I am in - have been in a similar situation. Could you go into what you mean a bit further? Why does somebody with disorganized attachment both totally block, but then also give signals of open channels or some kind of 'attachment' or at least the need for that?

Thanks
poppy