Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 26, 2020, 10:17:45 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Side effects of being with someone who suffers from BPD  (Read 8048 times)
Torchwood
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 74


« Reply #60 on: February 19, 2010, 10:38:18 AM »

I'm not on medication, I'm not having sleep issues and I'm not as sad and bummed out as I was a couple of months ago. However, I do find myself being more careful with what I say. I find myself apologizing to people because I'm worried I might have offended them and/or angered them. Slowly but surely this is beginning to stop as I feel like myself again.

It's a wonderful feeling to realize "I'm me again!"
Logged
Colombian Chick
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: In a committed and loving relationship.
Posts: 697


« Reply #61 on: February 19, 2010, 11:17:11 AM »

Excerpt
I'm not on medication, I'm not having sleep issues and I'm not as sad and bummed out as I was a couple of months ago. However, I do find myself being more careful with what I say. I find myself apologizing to people because I'm worried I might have offended them and/or angered them. Slowly but surely this is beginning to stop as I feel like myself again.

I've been doing the same thing! Friends and family members even told me to stop worrying if I hurt their feelings. They laughed and said "we can take a joke, we are not 5 you know!". I said to myself WOW, I'm traumatized!
Logged
Colombian Chick
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: In a committed and loving relationship.
Posts: 697


« Reply #62 on: February 19, 2010, 11:24:46 AM »

Excerpt
I also spent all my time with my ex-lover, he needed me to constantly assure that he was loved. I stayed in our home so there are lots of memories here. He was like the perfect man for me when we met (note: honeymoon stage) but as we know that changed.

My xBPDbf was the exact same way. I had to spend all of my free time with him and if I even mentioned spending time with family and friends he would flip. I also stayed in our home and I don't even go to the second floor becuase everything reminds me of him. I have been sleeping in the couch  :'(.

When we first met it was great, but I feel that after we moved in together everything changed. He was edgy and more demanding of my time. My boss even told me to stop being on the phone so much, he would call me constantly and send me texts. One time that I couldn't answer any of the texts he sent me a picture of himself crying. I was really confussed and emotionally drained by him. He needs constant reassurance and love, but there is only so much a person could give.
Logged
jalk
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1853



« Reply #63 on: February 20, 2010, 12:37:14 PM »

While I was with her in the relationship, especially towards the last year of our relationship, I became really depressed.  Now, that we are over, I suffer from PTSD. Hearing from her in any way, shape or form produces anxiety in me. I feel very upset and it takes a while for me to unwind.
Logged
GCD145
*******
Offline Offline

Posts: 1087


« Reply #64 on: February 20, 2010, 01:04:15 PM »

While I was with her in the relationship, especially towards the last year of our relationship, I became really depressed.  Now, that we are over, I suffer from PTSD. Hearing from her in any way, shape or form produces anxiety in me. I feel very upset and it takes a while for me to unwind.

You know, Jalk, I feel the same way. Depression and PTSD.

That's why I've made it impossible for her to contact me except through her lawyer.  Occasionally, she finds a new way to try to get in touch.  Then I block that, too.

I've told her after she's contacted me that I can't handle hearing from her, but she does it anyway, which pretty much sums up how she interacted with me.  It was always about her, and if I had needs, I was selfish.

Let her go, man, let her go.  Change your phone number already, block her emails, cut her out of your life for good and for ever.

GCD145
Logged
PennMicheleG

*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Living apart
Posts: 28


« Reply #65 on: February 22, 2010, 12:20:33 PM »

Doctors rarely get personally involved, but I am grateful that mine did just once.  One day she was fairly blunt "I can keep prescribing medication for you, but the problems will really never get resolved as long as you are in that relationship."  That was a wake-up call for me.  And I think that I had a sense of permission that allowed me to bail out with less guilt.

It's good to hear in the age of over prescribing, there are doctors out there like this.  I'm curious though - was this a family doctor or psychiatrist?  If you don't want to share that's okay, but it appears you had an open dialogue with your doc since he mentioned the relationship.  That is so important and kudos to you - more people should follow your example and be honest with their docs.  Sadly, most are embarrassed about the hit_ they are dealing with and will tell no one.

I remember by first medical appt after I left my BPD husband.  The doctor asked if I needed a refill for my Zoloft.  (I had to be switched to Zoloft after I maxed out the Prozac dosage.) I told her no - I got rid of the source of my stress. 

The PTSD issues I deal with now, fortunately, can be managed through exercise, talk with female coworkers, therapy and this website.  This is a great thread btw.  Thanks to the author!
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2020?

Pages: 1 2 [3]  All   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!