I'm just not sure what to do here. I haven't responded to the text and I don't plan to. I'm just curious if someone has an intelligent, mature way to respond to let her know that I won't be responding to this passive criticism.
"Just air it out and it will be fine."
Criticism: it smells moldy
Response action: acknowledge complaint and offer solution. If solution fails, then drop the argument.
Unfortunately, this is about jealousy and envy and the devaluation of your part time relationship with your D. That part time relationship comes with a part time Mother that has part time selves in her personality. Those selves swing back and forth toward good (reward) as when she's with her daughter and bad (being left behind and withdrawing) as when your daughter is visiting with you. You are representative of the withdrawing bad object that a Borderline feels within herself. Unfortunately, you have possession, if only for a moment, of her good object (your daughter.)
When your D is with her Mother, the part-time self of good is cast upon the D and Mother together -with you as the withdrawing bad object.
When your D is with you, the part time bad self comes out of the Mother and she feels a sense of jealousy and envy that her good is taken away. When the good returns, it needs to be separated from the bad and any object that returns with the daughter represents the bad. It is now a replacement for that envy and jealousy felt. The bad object is the doll (pillow pet.) The doll must be destroyed for the good object (your daughter) to represent good again and the bad to be purged.
Hope that makes sense.