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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Quotes from the pwBPD in my life  (Read 11079 times)
FindingMe2011
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« on: February 19, 2011, 11:14:43 AM »

Had so much fun with this last time couldnt ressist. How about " i have given so much and you dont appreciate anything, your so selfish"  Lets look back and reflect. i supported her totally for 13 yrs, allowed her to have a job, spend her money on whatever she needed,( which amounted to nothing as it ened up in piles throughout the house) regaurdless if things were tough or not, did most of kids activities as she spent alot of time in bed, stating she was just having a bad day. did more than half of household choirs, bought her countless things for her hobbies, horses, goats, donkeys, trailers, trucks, barns, fenced in 10 acres, ect, ect, went on countless wonderful trips( of which she generally would say at some point " that was the worst vacation i have ever been on" never giving me what i needed from relationship, except in the begining( so i thought, which was also false) if you can put this in prespective, it actually is so over the top, funny how you cant see it for what it is until you get out, thank God. Another one" your a great father, a great provider, why cant u see what i need"( wanted to say sorry hit_ i forgot my crystal ball)  but i would say all you have to do is say something and she would reply " it shouldnt be this hard"  UNFLIPPIN REAL, LOL
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2011, 11:22:18 AM »

This is simple.

"You hate me!"

How many heard this from their BPD SO?
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
ItsAboutTime
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« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2011, 01:00:43 PM »

I heard that a lot of times. "so, you hate me".

Last thing I said, "I'll always love you but yes, I do hate you for all you've put me through".  He can deal with it in his own head, not my problem anymore.
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nwpbroke
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« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2011, 02:07:18 PM »

Yeah i got that "you hate me" alot or "you think im a terrible person",  OFC this is all black or whtie thinking, yes I am upset wiht you be never hated you.  Though she would tell me she hates me as much as she loves me.  Even to this day I dont hate her, infact i feel bad for her for dealign with this illness.
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2011, 02:25:16 PM »

Yeah i got that "you hate me" alot or "you think im a terrible person",  OFC this is all black or whtie thinking, yes I am upset wiht you be never hated you.  Though she would tell me she hates me as much as she loves me.  Even to this day I dont hate her, infact i feel bad for her for dealign with this illness.

I am so glad you wrote this. The last time she engaged me, I told her I was sick of her lies and she said "yes, I'm worst person ever, just leave me alone." No apology or even a come back, just a self-loathing response. Caught in blatant lies and never owned up to them.

Thing is, when she said you "hate me" I thought that was just some cute joke but she said it A LOT, to the point where even my family heard it relentlessly and scratched their heads about it. But with everyone on here saying they heard the same phrases, I think it was beyond a cute meaningless joke now... .
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
louiseann17
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« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2011, 02:53:29 PM »

My exuBPDbf used to say things like... .'Even if you hate me... .I still love you' (unreal)

And 'why cant you just be simple'?... .Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)... .
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BraveTwoZero
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« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2011, 03:00:17 PM »

"Oh there you go with that martyr complex again." That was the quote that almost every argument ended on.

She would do something bad, she would not take ownership for her conduct, we would argue about it, I would finally throw my hands in the air and say, "ya, you must be right and I'm wrong... ." Then she'd hit me with, "Oh there you go with that martyr complex again."

It was a no-win situation.   If I called her on her bad behaviour I was a dick, if I gave up arguing I was a dick with a martyr complex.
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breakingpoint
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« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2011, 03:48:11 PM »

My ex used to say to me "Why are you are so broken inside that you can't have a 'normal' relationship?".

His other favorite thing to say was "That's what couples do". He ALWAYS said this when he was trying to convince me/guilt me into do something or go along with something I didn't want to do. for example... .he always wanted to come with me to the salon when I got my hair cut and coloured... .or he wanted to come with me to my appointments to get my nails done... .or he wanted me to help him rebuild his garage when he KNEW my back was bad... .he wanted me to sleep on HIS schedule (staying up later than I normally do and sleep later than I normally do)... .why? "Because that's what couples do". I used to think really hard about all of the other couples I knew to try and see if, in fact, they re-arranged their whole lives around each other... .guess what, no they don't. Not like this anyway.

Sometime he would reverse it and say "That's NOT what couples do"... .like if we were at a social gathering and I went and talked to a group of people in a different room or something, or if I made plans to do something for myself that didn't include him (like nails, or hair). He figured that I should be making plans to do stuff like this on HIS days off... .he works 4 on and 4 off... .it's not always convenient to schedule my life around that.
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2011, 04:54:03 PM »

My ex used to say "you there?" so much to me on the phone that she started saying it to people in person during conversations  Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).

This always threw people off. I can only imagine them standing in front of her thinking "uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't turn invisible." Hahaha.
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Bluepanda
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« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2011, 06:02:33 PM »

Did anyone else get  "I dunno" alot?

And when you ask "What do you mean, I dunno"

you get "Im tired"


I got "You hate me" and "Everybody hates me" almost daily
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nwpbroke
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« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2011, 06:20:42 PM »

Did anyone else get  "I dunno" alot?

And when you ask "What do you mean, I dunno"

you get "Im tired"


I got "You hate me" and "Everybody hates me" almost daily

Yeah i would ask her about eating or doing stuff, i would always have to decide,

And you hate me is a projection, it means "I hate me"
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louiseann17
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« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2011, 06:28:13 PM »

Yes ! me nw... .

Almost every other week... .I used to say to him... .after a million 'i dunno's' what do you mean?... .and he would say ' aw im just tired'

And the absolute amount of times he used to say ' you hate me... .dont you?' was unreal... .I mean i used to say back ' no no... .why on earth do you think that?'... .unreal... .also i got ' im a loser... .why would you be with me?'... .now im getting it... .
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jalk
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« Reply #12 on: February 19, 2011, 07:35:49 PM »

I have to share... .I just love reading these sayings BPDer's say... .here are a few I have heard... .see if they ring a bell. Smiling (click to insert in post)

1. Do you hate me?

2. Do you still love me?

3. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm like this.

4. I prayed for someone like you.

5. You're the best.

6. You're so good looking, I'm glad you're mine.

7.You're flirting with her!

8. I don't know who I am.

9. You always have to have everything your way!

10. I love you googles and googles

11. Please don't ever leave me

12. You love your dogs more than me!

13. I need my privacy!

14. My mother is in "one of her moods" again.

Just to name a few. I have more. Just can't think of them now.
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #13 on: February 19, 2011, 08:16:26 PM »

I have to share... .I just love reading these sayings BPDer's say... .here are a few I have heard... .see if they ring a bell. Smiling (click to insert in post)

1. Do you hate me?

2. Do you still love me?

3. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm like this.

4. I prayed for someone like you.

5. You're the best.

6. You're so good looking, I'm glad you're mine.

7.You're flirting with her!

8. I don't know who I am.

9. You always have to have everything your way!

10. I love you googles and googles

11. Please don't ever leave me

12. You love your dogs more than me!

13. I need my privacy!

14. My mother is in "one of her moods" again.

Just to name a few. I have more. Just can't think of them now.

Bonus... .

- You're the best thing that ever happened to me

- I'd die without you

- If you hate me so much, then just leave me

- He's just a friend (gah, I hate that spineless statement)




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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Robhart
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« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2011, 08:25:13 PM »

About any male she knows whether it's some guy she had sex with or some guy that just buys her a drink it's always

"WERE JUST FRIENDS'
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FindingMe2011
a.k.a. *BeenThereB4*
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« Reply #15 on: February 19, 2011, 08:59:36 PM »

i would get so feed up with the flip flop of, its ok to do that, its not ok to do that,its ok to do that, its not ok to do that, Jiminey crickets make up your mind, oh thats right your a BPD er. Or " Are you happy" translation = im not happy what the hell you going to do to make me happy. But this was before i understood. so i would just say " yeah im happy how bout you" she would say she was. both knowing damn well this was not the case. Or how bout the phone calls every 30 min or hour, while working and talking to me like we havent talked all day, repeating same conversations previously spoken. i remember saying to myself " what the hell is this ground hog day" but would disregaurd as another one of her bad days.   
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just_think
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« Reply #16 on: February 19, 2011, 09:22:40 PM »

"We have a 14,000 dimensional connection"
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louiseann17
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« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2011, 09:25:38 PM »

Oh yeah... .just thought of some more... .

' why do you always think the worst of me?'

and ' go get yourself a decent guy in

a suit'

' you always think wrong wrong wrong'
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TheSomberlain
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« Reply #18 on: February 19, 2011, 09:36:51 PM »

Also, the words ALWAYS and NEVER

"You NEVER showed me affection"

"I ALWAYS have to do [insert something dumb]"

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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Im done
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« Reply #19 on: February 19, 2011, 09:38:42 PM »

"We have a 14,000 dimensional connection"

Huh?
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just_think
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« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2011, 10:33:42 PM »

"We have a 14,000 dimensional connection"

Huh?

It was poetic. And made my heart melt at the time... .
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Im done
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« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2011, 10:38:04 PM »

"We have a 14,000 dimensional connection"

Huh?

It was poetic. And made my heart melt at the time... .

I'm trying to picture a world with 14,000 dimensions.  Can't quite get my mind around it. Smiling (click to insert in post)
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just_think
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« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2011, 10:47:56 PM »

"We have a 14,000 dimensional connection"

Huh?

It was poetic. And made my heart melt at the time... .

I'm trying to picture a world with 14,000 dimensions.  Can't quite get my mind around it. Smiling (click to insert in post)

I'm sure there are more than that
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jboogie
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« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2011, 01:55:24 AM »

"BEING RIGHT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN LOVING ME"

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orillia
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« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2011, 03:20:46 AM »

Yep. Or, "why do you hate me?"

This is simple.

"You hate me!"

How many heard this from their BPD SO?

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orillia
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« Reply #25 on: February 20, 2011, 03:22:20 AM »

"You think I'm a terrible person"

"You make me feel like an immature jerk" - I never called him a jerk. It was usually when talking about his drinking and how I wish he would stop. Or how he tends to associate with alcoholic losers. He thought I was judging HIM by pointing that out. Yet, at the same time, he admitted he hung out with losers to make himself look better.

Yeah i got that "you hate me" alot or "you think im a terrible person",  OFC this is all black or whtie thinking, yes I am upset wiht you be never hated you.  Though she would tell me she hates me as much as she loves me.  Even to this day I dont hate her, infact i feel bad for her for dealign with this illness.

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orillia
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« Reply #26 on: February 20, 2011, 03:23:47 AM »

Yup. "Why can't you just be simple" "Why can't you just let me do what I want"

"why can't things be more simple"... .

I'm sure he thinks if he finds someone else, that will solve the problem. Because I am so complicated. Granted, I am complicated, but the problems he brings to the rel'ship aint' gonna go away unless he gets therapy.

My exuBPDbf used to say things like... .'Even if you hate me... .I still love you' (unreal)

And 'why cant you just be simple'?... .Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)... .

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orillia
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« Reply #27 on: February 20, 2011, 03:25:28 AM »

Or how about, in explaining some lame behavior: "My heart is a mess." I replied: "Your heart is a mess, so you have to break mine?"

I have to share... .I just love reading these sayings BPDer's say... .here are a few I have heard... .see if they ring a bell. Smiling (click to insert in post)

1. Do you hate me?

2. Do you still love me?

3. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm like this.

4. I prayed for someone like you.

5. You're the best.

6. You're so good looking, I'm glad you're mine.

7.You're flirting with her!

8. I don't know who I am.

9. You always have to have everything your way!

10. I love you googles and googles

11. Please don't ever leave me

12. You love your dogs more than me!

13. I need my privacy!

14. My mother is in "one of her moods" again.

Just to name a few. I have more. Just can't think of them now.

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orillia
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« Reply #28 on: February 20, 2011, 03:26:23 AM »

YUP. Even the ex who he slept with 2 days after I broke up with him for doing cocaine.

About any male she knows whether it's some guy she had sex with or some guy that just buys her a drink it's always

"WERE JUST FRIENDS'

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Scupper
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« Reply #29 on: February 20, 2011, 04:00:44 AM »

My attention belongs to me.

I am incapable of loving another human being.

I’m a negative person.

People see me as bubbly and friendly but I’m dark.

It’s all about me.

I've never loved you.

That love letter (that Scupper just produced) must have been just after we met.

We're just like flatmates.

Because my expectations were too high, I started imagining you were my flatmate so that my expectations would be lower.

I care about (BPDW's son) so why do I need to show affection to him?

I spoke to ………(BPDW's friend overseas)…... and she said everyone has Borderline Personality.

Can’t you just accept that some people are different? Can’t I just be myself?

 

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