Falcon Ridge Ranch Month 10: BPD d13 in residential treatment center

[lbjnltx]

here is my speech that i will deliver at my precious d's graduation :

I am glad to be here today sharing these moments with all of you.  This is truly a day we have hoped and prayed for. 

When we began searching for the place and people to help BPD14 we prayed for guidance and the discernment in what to look for.  God answered and Falcon Ridge was His answer.  I kept Mariah on the phone more hours than I would like to admit and am grateful for her time, patience and concern for BPD14 and our family.  I thought “if everyone at Falcon Ridge is like Mariah then this must be the place we prayed for”.  I spent hours talking to parents of girls who had been at Falcon Ridge and it was obvious to me that Falcon Ridge held a special place in their hearts. 

My mother and I came to visit and the peace of this place and the quiet wisdom of the staff reassured me that we were in the right place. 

Thank you to Carolle for your patient and wise leadership in helping BPD14 learn that self respect and boundaries strengthen relationships... .not just with horses but with people too.  Thank you to Mike, Shae, and Russ for the extra time and effort you spent with BPD14 to help her see that God has given her the gift to see into the spirit of horses.  I believe she will use her gift to help horses with their people in the years to come.

Thank you to Karen for patiently putting up with my daily calls to ask about my precious daughter.  Many times I think she knew who was on the other end of the line just by where the hands of the clock were.  Thank you to the kitchen staff for feeding BPD14 and nourishing her body while the staff and counselors nourished her mind and her spirit.  Thank you for feeding all of us during the family weekends. 

Thank you to a former student, -------, who sat down with my Mom and I when we visited and shared her most personal thoughts and feelings about herself and what she was learning at Falcon Ridge.  Knowing how much Falcon Ridge helped ------- made my decision to leave my daughter in the hands of strangers a little easier.  I pray that you and all the other girls who have graduated or left this place are doing well.

Thank you to all the girls who are still here, thank you for helping BPD14 see that she is worthy of respect, that she has the power within herself to make choices and not be swept away by circumstance or situations.  Through your friendship she has learned that she is not alone in her struggles.

Thank you to Nali who has taught our family that as long as we have honesty, healthy personal boundaries and take responsibility for ourselves we will move in positive directions.  Through Nali's leadership and the PPC process BPD14 has discovered how to help others help themselves and how that in turn strengthens her.  We are planning to begin a grassroots PPC  program in our small community so that BPD14 can continue to share her care and concern with other girls and keep the PPC process alive within herself. 

Thank you to Lorneta for listening to my thoughts and ideas, for investing so much of yourself in BPD14, for believing in her from the beginning and seeing as we do how special she is.  I hope and pray for huge blessings upon you and your family so that you can help other girls like BPD14 find their way back to their families and have the opportunity to know true happiness.

I would like to thank most of all BPD14.  You have worked hard to help yourself.  Working on ourselves is the hardest work of all.  Your courage, your strength and willingness to be honest with yourself and about yourself is the reason I stand here today.  The time has come for you to leave this place and return home.  I know you are coming home a different person than the one who arrived here over 9 months ago.  You have learned that you have a great deal of personal power, that you have choices and that with the power to choose comes personal responsibility.  I have always told you that “the truth is the truth whether we admit it or not, sooner or later the truth will come out, and the truth will set you free”.  You have been brave and examined the truth about yourself.  The truth is that you are kind, caring, compassionate, intelligent, beautiful, passionate and generous.  Believing this truth has set you free.

The time has come to return home and show the rest of the world the truth of who you are.  The world will challenge you.  Be true to yourself and this place called Falcon Ridge and all of the friends you have made here.  Honor yourself and all your hard work, honor God and the great love that brought you here.  The truth is that you are a rare and precious creation.  If you stumble along the way it is ok because every time the sun rises is a new day that brings with it the opportunity to do things differently than the day before. 

I understand why you are sad to leave this wonderful place.  I also understand that you acknowledge that we are all connected.  Falcon Ridge is now part of who you are so you can carry it with you in your heart and in your mind where ever you go.  At any given moment in time, I am certain, that everything is exactly as it should be.

At this moment in time I was destined to be standing here and saying to you “I am so proud of you and I love you very much.”

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[peaceplease]

lbj,

That is really beautiful!  It has been wonderful for all of us to share in your journey through the rtc.  I am so happy for you.

May God Bless you.


peaceplease

[qcarolr]

lbj - what a wonderful statement of gratitude from you to D14 and all the work she has done and those that helped you all along the way. There are not words to express my gratitude to you for sharing this journey here with me and the other parents. I have learned so many lessons, gained confidence in my own abilities to accept each day as it comes, and do the best I can with it. Each month along the way has shown growth in each of you - D14, you, dh. And it gives me and so many others such a great model of using the tools and skills that are ours as well. Overcoming the fears that keep us stuck is really hard work. You have helped me with many of my obstacles as you have guided D14 along with all the staff at Falcon Ridge.

Thank you so much. When are you leaving for the graduation? We are leaving for a short vacation in the Moab area on 3/19 so I will have a lot to catch up on when I get back on 3/24. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers while I am visiting this beautiful area, one of my family's favorites.

qcr        

[lbjnltx]

thank you qcarol for your reply.

we leave the ranch wednesday morning to head to the airport.  we will be back at the ranch, w/BPD14 late saturday night 3/19.

perhaps we will pass you on the road somewhere... .near Moab.

lbjnltx

[justhere]

I too want to thank you lbjnltx for leaving this written account of your journey with BPD and your families way to healing and health.  I still have to catch up on your dd's earlier months at the rtc so I will be reading and learning for some time yet.

I want to give a special thanks to your lovely daughter for even at her young age to have the wisdom and trust in herself to see the truth. By her courage and commitment, she is already paying it forward and helping other BPDsons and daughters. The unwavering faith of you and your family ibjnltx is inspiring,

justhere

[Togetheritispossible]

   I am so happy to hear the honesty and earned praise that comes to these children when they let them selves become vulnerable and ready to do what it takes. You are a proud mom and one that your daughter is so vey lucky to have. I wish you the best on graduation day!

togetheritispossible

[lbjnltx]

thanks to you all for your praise of our family, my BPD14, and falcon ridge.

it truly  is a blessed place.

lbjnltx

ps. together... .i just sent you a pm

[lbjnltx]

we are all back home safe, we are tired from the busy weekend and traveling all day. ;p

BPD14 happy to be home and be with her family and her weiner dog and crazy wampus kitty (pickles). 

i think we have everything done (just in the nick of time!) for her online school... .will spend tomorrow getting the computer set up and doing orientation.

thanks for all your support dear friends... .couldn't have made it without you!

lbjnltx

[swampped]

You have been in my thoughts and prayers all week, dear lbjnltx.  I am so happy for you!  Will continue to pray that all goes well, and that dd's new skills serve her well as she "reenters".  Blessings to all!        SP

[peaceplease]

lbj,

Hi!.  I have been thinking about you this past week as well.  I am glad that things are going well for you and family.

May God bless you.


peaceplease

[lbjnltx]

had a good sunday... .BPD14 wanted to go to church so that she could help with the little kids during sunday school and the church hour.  told her that some things have changed at church since she was there and she might not be allowed to work with the little ones during sunday school, that they want the youth to go to their own class... .she said she didn't want to do that.  i left it at that.

dh took her to sunday school, i met them for services... .BPD14 was on the back row with one of her "little" buddies... .singing and happy.  when it came time for the 5 yr and unders to go to their class room she went too.

after church i found her talking to one of her old friends from a few years back... .before all the trouble started with BPD14... .we went to eat lunch with friends in town, BPD14 came too.

i asked her how sunday school with the little ones went... .she said she went to youth sunday school and it was alright... .then asked me  if she could go to wednesday night youth group... ."will it interfere with neurofeedback or anything?"... .told her "no, won't interfere at all"... .

today we spent most of the day... .with lots of  little breaks ... .trying to get acquainted with the online school and how to navigate the site... .she worked on several art assignments and i think she is done with art for the week... .it was quite frustrating at times for both of us!  BPD14 held it together very well and was cooperative... .

tomorrow ... .more online school... .social studies and perhaps some math... .a trip to town to grocery shop and pick up feed for the animals.  she has been invited to go to a soft ball game with the neighbors at the school she will attend next year... .told her "go ahead and plan on going".

having a great time with my sweet girl home!  tired though... .i stayed with her almost all day on her school work...

lbjnltx

ps... .i forgot how much a teenager eats... .every hour she wants something... .if she would eat protein she might not be so darn hungry every hour. ;p

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

it's been an amazing first week home for my daughter.  she has done very well.  school is challenging but we just finished this weeks assignments (with the exception of studying for the taks math, tutor coming again tomorrow).  we had t w/rtc t on thursday... .went great, we had t with her t at home on friday... .went great, no melt downs, no rages, smiles constantly, very respectful, honest, such a miracle for us.

this is a copy of a discussion thread required for her health class.  this is what she posted on the subject of teen sexual activity:

there are many reasons why girls seek attention sexually, but my  reason was that i didn't get or want appropriate attention from my parents or positive people in my life. i turned to what i thought was going to give me the love i needed, and that included displaying myself as an Object and not a person to others. people looked down on me for the image i wanted to have. yes i wanted to be the "easy" girl that guys would constantly disrespect. i have been through a residential treatment center were i stayed there for 9 1/2 months and found out the real reason for my acting out sexually, as i have already said, it was because i didn't have or want the love i needed as a 13 year old girl. i have graduated my RTC program and i am 14 now. i am also moving in a positive direction.

i'm a proud and humble momma right now!

[qcarolr]

WOW   This is so great lbj. You D14 has worked so very hard to come to this place, and you have been right there with her the whole way - as you continue to be. She is so very lucky to have you as a mom.

Thanks for sharing - I was hoping to hear about your week.

qcr

[lbjnltx]

hello qcarol,

how was your trip to Moab?

glad you are back... .been missing you here!

lbjnltx

[qcarolr]

We had a great time - feel very refreshed after break from TV, newspaper, and lots of sleeep. Emma did really great on the drive with a little help from a portable DVD player, books, and the dog to tease. Now to get back into the routine.

qcr

[whiletheseasonspass]

Dear lbj,

     

I know you have heard so much of this and I have said it too but it certainly bears repeating- just astounding all of this is for your dd and you and your little family- just how far your dd has come and it is thanks to you as her loving mother and your faith and that you found that phenomenal Falcon Ridge and that they had the wonderful program and the therapists - and how your dd learned to want to be healthier and now that she is at home - she WANTS to keep it going in the right direction.  She is 14 now but she will continue to grow and she WILL be amazing when she is 18- when she becomes an adult and she is on her own yet I bet she will always want you in her life- as her special mom... . 

You will see to that over the next four years... .and besides that- her desire to live life in a positive way seems so evident. 

You are your dd's mother and in my opinion - you saved her life! 

And not only that but you have allowed all here to follow your journey - detail by detail... .and what great teaching tools - you have shared with others and what hope you have brought to so many who came to this board in great distress.

Also I can see your dd using her story and to help others become better/ healthier people. It is clear that she is a very compassionate person- just like her mom and she has it in her to be a "teacher"... .just like her mom is. 

It is easy to actually imagine your daughter reaching the point in her life of self-actualization- what every mother dreams of for her child... .your dd will do amazing things with her life and you will be by her side until she is on her own. 

And one of the greatest gifts among many is how she trusts you... .and turns to you.  It has become clearer and clearer as you have been on this journey with your dd- clearer to her as time went on- that she learned - "got it" what you are about- she knows how much you love her and that you want the very very best for her and it is clear that she values this great gift- and thust it seems mighty clear that she has come to see you as her beacon in that motherly way -and that you are!


wtsp

[lbjnltx]

thank you wtsp for your kind words... .they are full of hope, light and promise!  i pray that you are correct about my daughter's future and that she leaves this world a better place than she found it at the end of her days.

i keep you and your daughter forever in my thoughts and prayers wtsp... .that one day peace will be yours.



lbjnltx

[473harman]

Thank you so much for posting this. My daughter is in residential and its helpful for me to see the progression.