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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Interesting article on psychopathic behaviour...  (Read 6871 times)
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« on: August 16, 2011, 07:29:29 PM »

I've been reading the blogspot of an Irishman by the name of Thomas Sheridan, and this guy does not believe in BPD, rather the term 'psychopath'. I don't necessarily agree with this, but what he has to say is very interesting, if you replace psychopath with borderline.

Here is an extract from one of his articles, and very fitting - most certainly in my case:

www.waking-you-up.com/Thomas-Sheridan.html

Invented Personas to Manipulate Others

Psychopaths are a different version of themselves for every person they interact with. They also have ‘group personas’ for family, organisational and workplace interaction.

Highly Unreliable/Broken Promises

Psychopaths will make the most incredibly ambitious plans including you as their right hand man or woman then, on a whim, discard those plans and move on to some other crusade that excludes you. Victims often alter their own life plans to help the psychopath reach their imaginary goals, resulting in appalling emotional, psychological and financial chaos for the victims when the psychopath moves on.

Idealisation Followed by Cold Rejection

At the height of their idealisation of you, the psychopath will show you obsessive ‘love,’ care and attention. However, once they feel they have you where they want you — or the relationship has ended — if you collapsed in front of them on the street they would simply step over you as if they’d never met you and continue on their way. Outrageous smear campaigns against the discarded victims to falsely portray them as psychologically unstable, self-serving liars or abusers are often undertaken by psychopaths following the ending of a relationship.

Becomes Obsessed with a Hobby, Cause, or Individual and then Loses Interest Instantly

However, as soon as the relationship is established, the downward trajectory from idealisation of their victims and towards the inevitable devaluation and discarding begins in earnest. It may take weeks. It may take months. It often takes years. Nevertheless the psychopath always begins the devaluing of their victims as soon as the relationship is legitimised and is always on the lookout for an ‘upgrade’.

Phoney Altruism

Buys into either secular and non-secular belief systems to appear superior or enlightened. Will align themselves with ‘morally popular’ causes to make themselves appear enlightened and with a sense of deep moral wisdom and compassion. But it is always a pose; the psychopath’s association with these causes is a veneer to fool others into trusting them. It’s always fake; always an agenda.

There is Nothing Real Behind the Persona

Behind the months or years of perfectly-constructed performance by your psychopath is a nothing: a void, a blank, a hunger for something the psychopathic entity can never define. They now see no further benefit in playing this part and have moved on to a new role. It is just business. You are treated to a completely new, cold and emotionless persona. “Who is this stranger?” you will ask yourself over and over again. It is so bewildering.

The Sudden Goodbye

Then the psychopath finds an upgrade, changes their persona, will often change their look, hairstyle and even change the subject when they suspect others are figuring them out and you begin asking questions. "Hey, never mind that, it is lovely weather we are having!" Stated in a chipper and almost giddy manner (with an obvious underlying glibness). They are repressing the internal excitement at having pulled a fast one on you.

The psychopath is literally filled with an adrenalin rush which lights up their whole facial expression with a gigantic self-satisfied grin - while the people the psychopath has stabbed in the back are expected to "get a life FFS... ."

The psychopath then mocks, ridicules and backstabs the people whom they "loved" only days prior and are now left in a state of chaos and confusion. Along with more glib statements as if "everything is OK". Then the psychopath generally goes into hiding for a short while from their victims and emerges with a new life, relationship, in another country/region in a completely whole new persona and a new mask of manipulation and social sanity. This was the new persona which the psychopath had been clandestinely crafting behind the scenes.

It is essentially an internal psychotic rampage hidden behind platitudes of "time to move on" and other superficial pontifications to hide that this is a completely deranged predator working their new "target" while dehumanising and discarding the ones whom they have no further requirement for. This is what leaves people in such shock - until they start to realise what they were in fact dealing with all along. A psychopath.

Then your political hero, social activist, revolutionary, celebrity, cult-of-personality hero (persona) moves on as if the previous persona never existed - but it is always their undoing as they assume they are smarter than the people whom they have manipulated and fooled into their cult-of-personality. Which is why they always insult and mock the ones who supported, championed and loved them as the psychopath walks away. This is always their fatal flaw. Their testosterone-charged impulsive self destruct button. They get cocky and their God Complex goes into overdrive and everyone sees it for what it is. Endgame.
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ve01603
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« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2011, 08:14:13 PM »

Awesome post.  That is exactly what mine did to me and he actually did have a psychotic break down about a year and a half ago.  It won't be long until he is in jail or dead.  

I would not be at all surprised to see him kill the next woman (if there even is one, he's pretty far gone)in some type of drunken rage.  I knew how to stay out of his way and defuse him, I'm pretty tough and I am a more full figured woman but if I had been some tiny thing, I could have already been dead.

Thanks for the post.
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Mystic
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« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2011, 09:37:20 PM »

I've been reading the blogspot of an Irishman by the name of Thomas Sheridan, and this guy does not believe in BPD, rather the term 'psychopath'. I don't necessarily agree with this, but what he has to say is very interesting, if you replace psychopath with borderline.

Here is an extract from one of his articles, and very fitting - most certainly in my case:

Invented Personas to Manipulate Others

Psychopaths are a different version of themselves for every person they interact with. They also have ‘group personas’ for family, organisational and workplace interaction.

Highly Unreliable/Broken Promises

Psychopaths will make the most incredibly ambitious plans including you as their right hand man or woman then, on a whim, discard those plans and move on to some other crusade that excludes you. Victims often alter their own life plans to help the psychopath reach their imaginary goals, resulting in appalling emotional, psychological and financial chaos for the victims when the psychopath moves on.

Idealisation Followed by Cold Rejection

At the height of their idealisation of you, the psychopath will show you obsessive ‘love,’ care and attention. However, once they feel they have you where they want you — or the relationship has ended — if you collapsed in front of them on the street they would simply step over you as if they’d never met you and continue on their way. Outrageous smear campaigns against the discarded victims to falsely portray them as psychologically unstable, self-serving liars or abusers are often undertaken by psychopaths following the ending of a relationship.

Becomes Obsessed with a Hobby, Cause, or Individual and then Loses Interest Instantly

However, as soon as the relationship is established, the downward trajectory from idealisation of their victims and towards the inevitable devaluation and discarding begins in earnest. It may take weeks. It may take months. It often takes years. Nevertheless the psychopath always begins the devaluing of their victims as soon as the relationship is legitimised and is always on the lookout for an ‘upgrade’.

Phoney Altruism

Buys into either secular and non-secular belief systems to appear superior or enlightened. Will align themselves with ‘morally popular’ causes to make themselves appear enlightened and with a sense of deep moral wisdom and compassion. But it is always a pose; the psychopath’s association with these causes is a veneer to fool others into trusting them. It’s always fake; always an agenda.

There is Nothing Real Behind the Persona

Behind the months or years of perfectly-constructed performance by your psychopath is a nothing: a void, a blank, a hunger for something the psychopathic entity can never define. They now see no further benefit in playing this part and have moved on to a new role. It is just business. You are treated to a completely new, cold and emotionless persona. “Who is this stranger?” you will ask yourself over and over again. It is so bewildering.

The Sudden Goodbye

Then the psychopath finds an upgrade, changes their persona, will often change their look, hairstyle and even change the subject when they suspect others are figuring them out and you begin asking questions. "Hey, never mind that, it is lovely weather we are having!" Stated in a chipper and almost giddy manner (with an obvious underlying glibness). They are repressing the internal excitement at having pulled a fast one on you.

The psychopath is literally filled with an adrenalin rush which lights up their whole facial expression with a gigantic self-satisfied grin - while the people the psychopath has stabbed in the back are expected to "get a life FFS... ."

The psychopath then mocks, ridicules and backstabs the people whom they "loved" only days prior and are now left in a state of chaos and confusion. Along with more glib statements as if "everything is OK". Then the psychopath generally goes into hiding for a short while from their victims and emerges with a new life, relationship, in another country/region in a completely whole new persona and a new mask of manipulation and social sanity. This was the new persona which the psychopath had been clandestinely crafting behind the scenes.

It is essentially an internal psychotic rampage hidden behind platitudes of "time to move on" and other superficial pontifications to hide that this is a completely deranged predator working their new "target" while dehumanising and discarding the ones whom they have no further requirement for. This is what leaves people in such shock - until they start to realise what they were in fact dealing with all along. A psychopath.

Then your political hero, social activist, revolutionary, celebrity, cult-of-personality hero (persona) moves on as if the previous persona never existed - but it is always their undoing as they assume they are smarter than the people whom they have manipulated and fooled into their cult-of-personality. Which is why they always insult and mock the ones who supported, championed and loved them as the psychopath walks away. This is always their fatal flaw. Their testosterone-charged impulsive self destruct button. They get cocky and their God Complex goes into overdrive and everyone sees it for what it is. Endgame.

So chillingly identical to my ex.  Sucks to find out you were "sleeping with the enemy" all along... .
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« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2011, 09:42:36 PM »

I can relate to this also, which is weird bc I never put it into those terms. But yeah the coldness the glib statements, the moving on, I can't believe I kept trying to connect to this, no wonder I feel like I get razor burn when I reach out to her.
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« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2011, 09:57:53 PM »

this scares the bejesus out of me...   idk why but i think mine actually has a conscience tho ...
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« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2011, 06:00:45 AM »

This is interesting - I think of psychopaths as BPD to the extreme.  My BPDbf had a lot of these traits - he definitely liked getting the best of people and the glibness in the article describes him perfectly.  He had all kinds of fantasy plans that evaporated when it became obvious they required work to achieve.  One thing this article doesn't mention is the FOG, gaslighting and manipulation of BPDs.  I think of psychopaths as cold - devoid of emotion and BPDs as completely dominated by their emotions but perhaps the end result is the same for their SO.
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« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2011, 06:37:41 AM »

Thank you for this post! It describes my "bff" exactly.

Zero guilt

zero remorse.

Uses people like toys

Selfish to the core

*shudders* what in god's name was I thinking?


psychopath is a VERY appropriate term... .these people are absolute monsters.
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« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2011, 06:44:24 AM »

Omg--couldn't be any more accurate in my case!
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« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2011, 07:55:01 AM »

I disagree with this one.

Personally, I think there is a important distinction between BP and psychopath. The BP is acting out of survival, out of fear. The feelings are real to the BP, the manipulation is not deliberate.

The psychopath deception & manipulation is deliberate, even enjoyable. The feelings of euphoria you describe i have never observed in my SO BP when she has pulled one over me. I realise the way she was acting when said when she was deceiving me was actually survival.

The acting out may be felt as delibrate by the non-BP simply because it is so damaging and it is apparent to us that it is so and should be obvious to anyone... .anyone who is not overwhelmed by emotion (BP)

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« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2011, 07:56:33 AM »

very intersting that a lot of females agree with this one post... .does BPD manifest differently in males in females? Or are there disorders that co manifest with BP traits that are differnt in males and females?
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« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2011, 08:59:47 AM »

I disagree with this one.

Personally, I think there is a important distinction between BP and psychopath. The BP is acting out of survival, out of fear. The feelings are real to the BP, the manipulation is not deliberate.

The psychopath deception & manipulation is deliberate, even enjoyable. The feelings of euphoria you describe i have never observed in my SO BP when she has pulled one over me. I realise the way she was acting when said when she was deceiving me was actually survival.

The acting out may be felt as delibrate by the non-BP simply because it is so damaging and it is apparent to us that it is so and should be obvious to anyone... .anyone who is not overwhelmed by emotion (BP)

I also disagree with the article - and agree with you. I am no medical professional, but I always think of BPD and psychopathic/anti-social personality disorders as being opposites even though the behavior of BPDers and people with ASPD can appear similar and have the same effect on other people.

People with BPD feel far too much - people with ASPD far too little. When a BPD says "I love you", they believe it - at least for the next five minutes until they find someone else to love. ASPDs would only say "I love you" as a means of manipulation and personal gain being unable to feel such an emotion, as far as I can decipher.

I also believe that the motivations of people with BPD and ASPD are very different - as I have said before, I think that people with BPD basically want to be reparented - to experience unconditional love and care and have all responsibility removed. I don't think that this is what motivates people with ASPD - but what motivates them, I do not know.

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« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2011, 09:32:46 AM »

I also believe that the motivations of people with BPD and ASPD are very different - as I have said before, I think that people with BPD basically want to be reparented - to experience unconditional love and care and have all responsibility removed. I don't think that this is what motivates people with ASPD - but what motivates them, I do not know.

+1

in my experience of BP, it feels much like you describe it to them.

Additionally, not having the coping tools when unconditional love, care & no responsibility are not met.
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« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2011, 09:37:48 AM »

very intersting that a lot of females agree with this one post... .does BPD manifest differently in males in females? Or are there disorders that co manifest with BP traits that are differnt in males and females?

I've wondered this myself.  It has been suggested by my T and many others that my exBPDbf is a sociopath or psychopath.  His actions would certainly make me think psychopath but knowing him well - I know there is a terrified highly emotional little boy underneath all of the cr@p so I am inclined to say BPD.  However, he has not had a formal diagnosis.
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« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2011, 10:27:05 AM »

very intersting that a lot of females agree with this one post... .does BPD manifest differently in males in females? Or are there disorders that co manifest with BP traits that are differnt in males and females?

I wonder the same thing, Westgate.  It seems like women tend to be more driven by emotion than men... I'm no PhD though.  There was never any apparent desperation or emotional expression on my exBPDbf's part.  Small things would trigger his most heinous actions and he never had any explanation for them... .much less remorse.  I hope he rots in Hell.
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« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2011, 10:48:10 AM »

My ex matches in behaviour what is posted, but I cannot figure out the reason why, and what was in his head as he was doing what he did.  It seems a long way from glee to emotional turmoil... .
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« Reply #15 on: August 17, 2011, 10:39:38 PM »

My ex matches the information posted too. I don't know what he 'has'.  My DV counsellor has called him a psychopath, another psychologist called said he had antisocial personality disorder.  I am here on BPD website. don't know what the correct label is, but he exhibits so many of the behaviours.

maybe is doesn't matter what label we put on.  In the end it is the behaviours we are dealing with.  We can never fathom the motivation coz they sure won't be telling us the truth if we could get them to talk about it.  It is of course all 'our fault' anyway! 

It is learning to deal with the behaviours and how they effect us that is the most important thing.  So what if my X manipulates deliberately like ASPD or out of some inner fear of abandonment like BPD.  He still manipulates and it still effects me and I have to learn to deal with it.

but having said that, the more you read the more you learn and understand and can work out how to deal with it.

my 2c worth!
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« Reply #16 on: August 17, 2011, 11:13:22 PM »

Semantics as far as I am concerned. The driving force is the same between the two. Domination. Psychopaths seem to go about that in society (con men, swindlers and bullies). BPD achieves the same goal but in intimate relationships. I think it has more to do with where they direct their desire to dominate. Macro versus micro. It is like these two terms; baseball player and catcher. Catcher is a baseball player. If you say baseball player you could be talking about a catcher. When you say catcher you are just being more specific about the roll someone takes as a baseball player. BPD to me is a more specific term for the roll a psychopath has chosen or is gifted at. Ha. Borderline is actually a term for the apparent wanderings of a person between psychosis and neurosis (fully termed psychoneurosis). I think we all hesitate to administer the weight of the word psychopath because of its violent overtones. But, we have pop culture to thank for that; Norman Bates "Psycho".
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« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2011, 11:40:14 PM »

Very good article my h I have watched his appearence change dramatically for his "new woman that took my place "he is unrecognizable to me . If I hadn't seen him recently I would have not known it was him had we not exchanged words.

I would bet my last dollar his behavoir is different for her also too along with interests and everything else.
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« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2011, 11:41:15 PM »

I disagree with this one.

Personally, I think there is a important distinction between BP and psychopath. The BP is acting out of survival, out of fear. The feelings are real to the BP, the manipulation is not deliberate.

The psychopath deception & manipulation is deliberate, even enjoyable. The feelings of euphoria you describe i have never observed in my SO BP when she has pulled one over me. I realise the way she was acting when said when she was deceiving me was actually survival.

The acting out may be felt as delibrate by the non-BP simply because it is so damaging and it is apparent to us that it is so and should be obvious to anyone... .anyone who is not overwhelmed by emotion (BP)

Agreed and this is why I'm a firm believer that BPD's are not sociopaths. They were conditioned through the abuse to react teh way they do. That's why they are emotionally stunted.

Sociopaths don't really feel the way BPD's do. A sociopath couldn't love someone. BPD people can. They feel extreme, love and extreme hate. Sociopath's... not so much... .
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« Reply #19 on: August 17, 2011, 11:47:05 PM »

What a post! described my exBPDgf to perfection... .

I have printed it off - i cant beleive how accurate it is!

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« Reply #20 on: August 18, 2011, 12:06:42 AM »

The historical origin of the term borderline was to diagnose someone in between neurotic and psychotic. Hence, when they are extreme BPD they may exhibit behaviors closer to a psychotic.
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« Reply #21 on: August 18, 2011, 12:40:07 AM »

While I agree that there is a difference between psychopath and BPD, I have to say this passage caught my eye.

Phoney Altruism

Buys into either secular and non-secular belief systems to appear superior or enlightened. Will align themselves with ‘morally popular’ causes to make themselves appear enlightened and with a sense of deep moral wisdom and compassion. But it is always a pose; the psychopath’s association with these causes is a veneer to fool others into trusting them. It’s always fake; always an agenda.

My dBPDstbxw will tell you that she is the most enlightened person she knows.  She will hold that over your head.  For the past 4 years she has only read "spiritual" or "self help" books.  Then she will tell you what is wrong with everyone around her, but never herself.  I've always wondered what it must be like to be perfect.  I have always found it pathetic and sad.
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« Reply #22 on: August 18, 2011, 12:49:02 AM »

maybe is doesn't matter what label we put on.  In the end it is the behaviours we are dealing with... .So what if my X manipulates deliberately like ASPD or out of some inner fear of abandonment like BPD.  He still manipulates and it still effects me and I have to learn to deal with it.

My point exactly! Thank you.
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« Reply #23 on: August 18, 2011, 03:53:57 AM »

The historical origin of the term borderline was to diagnose someone in between neurotic and psychotic. Hence, when they are extreme BPD they may exhibit behaviors closer to a psychotic.

Seems right to me.
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« Reply #24 on: August 30, 2011, 02:02:02 AM »

 I have been away from this sit some days. I have been dealing with the silent treatment. Reading stuff about how to become stronger myself and at the same time be a steady lady in harmony. Not easy when I deep inside miss him. Or ; I think I do.

I have read about Validation, and have sent him validations messages, partly seeing if it does anything to him, partly practising the tools, partly doing my greef as in sending love to myself in a way.

My man was diagnosed with 

   dyssoscial personality dissorder (psychopatic dissorder) + paranoid personality dissorder two years ago.

I have been thinking that it must be BPD. I wanted it to be. I thought he was diagnosed wrong. I have been reading alot in here, and listening to videos from a conference for boarderline scientist. Interesting. But I now realise that he has moved on, he has no guilt, he is not a real human being.

I know in a way that he will contact me again, just to see if I still wants him. But as I am writing this, I am not so sure. I am still so puzzled. I have been thinking about this too much, reading too much.

But I feel stronger as me and have spend time with friends, found a new hobby, and managed to focus when at work. He will always have a place in my heart. I dont hate him. But I dont cry either. IF he comes, like today, and says to me that he loves me and is so sorry, I would be crying. So I know I have thin skin and cant really trust myself in such a situation.

I really wanted so much that he was a BPD, and that dyssocial was dissosiation... .and he does this... turning away from the world when the world /me comes too narrow...

Hopes are sometimes a curtain. I need to see the real world.
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« Reply #25 on: August 30, 2011, 06:09:13 AM »

The historical origin of the term borderline was to diagnose someone in between neurotic and psychotic. Hence, when they are extreme BPD they may exhibit behaviors closer to a psychotic.

I had forgotten this, so thanks for posting.  Mine had a total psychotic break down last year.
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« Reply #26 on: August 30, 2011, 07:37:47 AM »

I've been reading the blogspot of an Irishman by the name of Thomas Sheridan, and this guy does not believe in BPD, rather the term 'psychopath'. I don't necessarily agree with this, but what he has to say is very interesting, if you replace psychopath with borderline.

Here is an extract from one of his articles, and very fitting - most certainly in my case:

Invented Personas to Manipulate Others

Psychopaths are a different version of themselves for every person they interact with. They also have ‘group personas’ for family, organisational and workplace interaction.

Highly Unreliable/Broken Promises

Psychopaths will make the most incredibly ambitious plans including you as their right hand man or woman then, on a whim, discard those plans and move on to some other crusade that excludes you. Victims often alter their own life plans to help the psychopath reach their imaginary goals, resulting in appalling emotional, psychological and financial chaos for the victims when the psychopath moves on.

Idealisation Followed by Cold Rejection

At the height of their idealisation of you, the psychopath will show you obsessive ‘love,’ care and attention. However, once they feel they have you where they want you — or the relationship has ended — if you collapsed in front of them on the street they would simply step over you as if they’d never met you and continue on their way. Outrageous smear campaigns against the discarded victims to falsely portray them as psychologically unstable, self-serving liars or abusers are often undertaken by psychopaths following the ending of a relationship.

Becomes Obsessed with a Hobby, Cause, or Individual and then Loses Interest Instantly

However, as soon as the relationship is established, the downward trajectory from idealisation of their victims and towards the inevitable devaluation and discarding begins in earnest. It may take weeks. It may take months. It often takes years. Nevertheless the psychopath always begins the devaluing of their victims as soon as the relationship is legitimised and is always on the lookout for an ‘upgrade’.

Phoney Altruism

Buys into either secular and non-secular belief systems to appear superior or enlightened. Will align themselves with ‘morally popular’ causes to make themselves appear enlightened and with a sense of deep moral wisdom and compassion. But it is always a pose; the psychopath’s association with these causes is a veneer to fool others into trusting them. It’s always fake; always an agenda.

There is Nothing Real Behind the Persona

Behind the months or years of perfectly-constructed performance by your psychopath is a nothing: a void, a blank, a hunger for something the psychopathic entity can never define. They now see no further benefit in playing this part and have moved on to a new role. It is just business. You are treated to a completely new, cold and emotionless persona. “Who is this stranger?” you will ask yourself over and over again. It is so bewildering.

The Sudden Goodbye

Then the psychopath finds an upgrade, changes their persona, will often change their look, hairstyle and even change the subject when they suspect others are figuring them out and you begin asking questions. "Hey, never mind that, it is lovely weather we are having!" Stated in a chipper and almost giddy manner (with an obvious underlying glibness). They are repressing the internal excitement at having pulled a fast one on you.

The psychopath is literally filled with an adrenalin rush which lights up their whole facial expression with a gigantic self-satisfied grin - while the people the psychopath has stabbed in the back are expected to "get a life FFS... ."

The psychopath then mocks, ridicules and backstabs the people whom they "loved" only days prior and are now left in a state of chaos and confusion. Along with more glib statements as if "everything is OK". Then the psychopath generally goes into hiding for a short while from their victims and emerges with a new life, relationship, in another country/region in a completely whole new persona and a new mask of manipulation and social sanity. This was the new persona which the psychopath had been clandestinely crafting behind the scenes.

It is essentially an internal psychotic rampage hidden behind platitudes of "time to move on" and other superficial pontifications to hide that this is a completely deranged predator working their new "target" while dehumanising and discarding the ones whom they have no further requirement for. This is what leaves people in such shock - until they start to realise what they were in fact dealing with all along. A psychopath.

Then your political hero, social activist, revolutionary, celebrity, cult-of-personality hero (persona) moves on as if the previous persona never existed - but it is always their undoing as they assume they are smarter than the people whom they have manipulated and fooled into their cult-of-personality. Which is why they always insult and mock the ones who supported, championed and loved them as the psychopath walks away. This is always their fatal flaw. Their testosterone-charged impulsive self destruct button. They get cocky and their God Complex goes into overdrive and everyone sees it for what it is. Endgame.

This is mine to a T. I often told him before I knew he had been diagnosed with BPD, that he was a sociopath. His diagnosis was when he was signifigantly younger.

Include the desire to kill certain people, which he literally had a list in his head. And yep there ya go!

The last time I talked to him he was "being a hermit" in his words, but had already replaced me with another woman he had begun lining up before I called it quits.

He stated he was running two miles a day. In two and a half years I never, never saw him run. That was when he asked me if I would come over to have sex with him because "he'd only get to see his new girlfriend a couple of times a year or every few months." I ended up yelling at him at this point.

I watched him go from hobby to hobby only to drop it at the last minute literally. He'd spend a fortune and then all the sudden sell things.

He lied more often than not. When I said before that he lied to inflated his appearance I wasn't kidding.

He had a bright idea to bring another woman to bed with us. Said he needed to feel of the hunt. He was a predator. So anyway he went to work and told the guys he was with three different girls including me. He was the stud. Total lie. It never happened. Never would. I wasn't into it.

There are more so many more. I for some reason, blocked these things but it is all coming back back over time.
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gettingoverit
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« Reply #27 on: September 04, 2011, 10:16:46 AM »

Wow, this article described my ex to a T as well! I also am not sure I agree with the term psychopath, perhaps it's because of the negative connotations. I think my ex really did love me at that particular moment in time, until her feelings told her otherwise. I think for her, she exhibited all of those behaviors as a coping/survival mechanism. The impression I get from psychopaths is that they do this for fun. They get off at screwing with people. They have have no remorse or shame. BPD's from what I understand are riddled with agonizing shame and guilt. Although the behaviors are the same for BPD's and Psychopaths, I think why those behaviors occur are completely different.
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ve01603
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« Reply #28 on: September 05, 2011, 07:58:19 AM »

What a post! described my exBPDgf to perfection... .

I have printed it off - i cant beleive how accurate it is!

Same here.
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Changingman
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« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2014, 06:30:55 PM »

From my reading, Borderline has a base line of Sadness, the Narcissist a baseline of cold indifference and a Psychopath/ASPD a complete lack of emotion. This seems a sliding scale that at times would manifest in the BPD depending on situation and circumstance.

The borderline has problems accessing remorse/empathy due too their desire to be seen as perfect (euphoric) or imperfect (dysphoric); black and white thinking?

Or to describe/control their inner world by ascribing/controlling the outside world. To make a terrible feeling inside disappear, they make the outside world disappear. They forget so much detail... .keys in locks, front doors left open, things with emotional content... .

Or is the False Self in different stages of development in each, spluttering in the BPD, stable in the narcissist and complete in the Psychopath?

I think Thomas Sheridan has bunched them all into ':)angerous Psychopath'.

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