Trying to Leave a Border Line Girlfriend

[Depression = 72% of members]

Good evening,

Tonight I decided to leave my girlfriend which was diagnosed with BLPD.

This is the third time I try to do it.

Although I forgive her, I just can not forget how she was unfaithful with my own driver in our own house.

I also can not forget how she asked me to comeback with her when she already had a relationship with a carpenter and did not tell me so.

I gave her a house, a car, a business and just about everything she asked.

I gave her father his first job in years.

I gave his brother his first job after graduation.

I gave her daughter the finest education available in town.

Nothing I gave her mattered to her.

She suddenly was very resentful, she turned against me and finally was unfaithful.

I trusted her, I thought that we were on the same page... .I was totally wrong.

What do you all think about my situation? Please help me.

Now we went to her therapist after telling her I wanted out and she propose a 30 day period with out talking or seeing each other.

[Antivirus]

Good evening,

Tonight I decided to leave my girlfriend which was diagnosed with BLPD.

This is the third time I try to do it.

Although I forgive her, I just can not forget how she was unfaithful with my own driver in our own house.

I also can not forget how she asked me to comeback with her when she already had a relationship with a carpenter and did not tell me so.

I gave her a house, a car, a business and just about everything she asked.

I gave her father his first job in years.

I gave his brother his first job after graduation.

I gave her daughter the finest education available in town.

Nothing I gave her mattered to her.

She suddenly was very resentful, she turned against me and finally was unfaithful.

I trusted her, I thought that we were on the same page... .I was totally wrong.

What do you all think about my situation? Please help me.

Now we went to her therapist after telling her I wanted out and she propose a 30 day period with out talking or seeing each other.

[nardila]

hummm, sounds like you are putting your energy in a bag that has holes.  it sounds like she will not be satisfied.  The 30 day period sounds good but i would suggest that you set the time and not her, if you are interested in working it out.  it seems we are so generous we dont let or require our BPDs to do anything and i am starting to comprehend that we are contributing to our own abuse and disrespect.

[Antivirus]

Thank U very much!

Reading you makes me feel much better.

I will do as you say.

[nardila]

How are things for you?

[GustheDog]

I gave

I gave

I gave

I gave

Nothing I gave her mattered to her.

She suddenly was very resentful, she turned against me and finally was unfaithful.

I trusted her, I thought that we were on the same page... .  I was totally wrong.

What do you all think about my situation?

I think your situation sounds a lot like my situation.

And I think it's time to stop giving.

[nardila]

When things are given that way we just don't appreciate it, its that simple.  I think we also could learn a lesson in how to give and how to receive.

[trevjim]

Yup the 'i gave' bit, i found no matter how much i gave, my ex always focused on what i hadnt done. As someone else described, its a bucket with holes.

Maybe a bit cynicle here but the 30 days bit, dont be suprised if she hooks up with another guy in that time, thats what alot of BPD, mine included seem to do.

You say 'her daughter' , im not sure of your entire situation, but the hardest part for me was when we split, we agreed i would still see her 3 year old boy (i saw him as a son having raised him, and he called me daddy) but the next day when i found out she had a new guy, i was told im not allowed to see him as she wanted the new guy to be his daddy. my biggest regret was that i didnt put something into place to make sure i could still have access to my 'son'

again I dont know your whole situation and this may not relate to you, but if you do leave you may be split black and told to stay away, so please be careful.

[Traye]

Take the 30 day period... .  definitely.  The concept of NC used to scare me so badly.  But it's your friend, truly.  Break away from the craziness and get your feet back underneath you.  Find some clarity, and plan what you want/need to do next.  I wish I'd gone NC on a break much sooner in our process.