Is it me or do most BPD females seem to be in the medical field

[ricky rick]

Ok so a lot of people that i have talked to or have been in contact with have talked about how their BPD is in the medical field. That kind of scares me to an extent. It must be the structure that comes with the job. must also be the lack of empathy for others. Any other ideas

[Seb]

I don't know what the relevance is, but yep, my uBPDexgf is an ER doctor. My sisters are both doctors and love the patient contact, getting to know their patients etc, it's what they love about the job... .  my ex is the opposite. ER suits her because its high drama and there's a quick turnaround of people! (Much like her personal life!)

[AmericanTemplar]

I've read somewhere that they were frequently in the medical field. 

Mine was a nurse.  She wanted to be an ER nurse--I guess because she didn't have enough stress in her life as it was. 

I thought that she was attracted to that field because it provided the drama that she craved and also because she had been a drug addict when she was younger and I know that lots of drug addicts are subconsciously attracted to fields that could potentially give them access to drugs.

What I read said that BPD's want to work in fields where they get to take care of people because that's what they want other people to do for them, or something along those lines.

[officer1618]

I was married to a Borderline nurse for 16 years. It most certainly was a target rich environment for "suitors" to jump to and from. She bedded coworkers in attempts to be saved from previous coworkers and coworkers before that. The medical field is filled with "drama and trauma" amongst the people who work in it. These gals would sit for hours and talk about each other, cheat on their husbands, collaborate on who they were going to screw or screw over... .  in other words, they fulfilled every BPD'S fantasy dream job. 

[ricky rick]

I have to agree that borderlines like the medical feild because of the drama, the drugs, the  coworkers= (the sex). I heard a lot of crazy things go on in the hospitals. My ex use to tell me all kinds of storys. Im beginning to wonder now if she was involved!

[PDX40]

My former wife is a mental health nurse, go figure.

So many times I thought she's working there to reserve her future room. Just a few days ago she told me the hospital is introducing DBT to the patients now and the staff has to practice it too. I thought, well, you'll definitely need it.

It still amazes me how cold she treated me when I was in and out of hospitals due to severe depression which was definitely caused by the emotional abuse by her. She had more empathy towards her patients than me and told me several times to just get over it.

[spratrbo]

You have to be kidding! My wife is an operating room nurse.

[ricky rick]

Spratrbo,

Really this is no kidding matter. My ex was a sugical tech in the operating room. oh the storys. Its like one big party when people are getting operated on. The doctors and nurses and techs and so on seem to talk about all kinds of things that lead to other things. It kills me.

[MaybeSo]

Most of the women I know with borderline features are living in a women's domestic violence shelter.

[soma]

well... .  my best friend is BPD and she is dr

my BPD bf... is surgeon :D

i don't know... i am dr too

but does that make me BPD :D

[FreeLizard]

Yep my exBPDgf is going to study nursing at university and used to always watch TV shows about nursing etc.

[Lady31]

I am on this board because of my BPDh.  He is not in the medical field.

My sister is a psychiatrist.  I do not believe she has BPD, but other PDs that SERIOUSLY impact her personal life.  She is very intelligent, and it amazes me but she is able to hide all this from her co-workers and the other Drs.  This is their "specialty" and they have no idea who she really is.

It's kinda crazy.

[FindingMe2011]

I have to agree that borderlines like the medical feild because of the drama, the drugs, the  coworkers= (the sex). I heard a lot of crazy things go on in the hospitals. My ex use to tell me all kinds of storys. Im beginning to wonder now if she was involved!

    This used to be a question I also asked/tortured myself with. The logical explanation would say that she participates. The details of what she said, and the depths of what she would tell me, would have me . I now understand that when I went  , my gut feelings were most likely, spot on, or at the very least, where there is smoke, there is fire. Towards the end of r/s, I picked up on many bits of truth, that she would speak. Like it was some way for her to come clean. When i finally did start to ask a few more questions, her lies seemed to catch up with her, many, inconsistent, comments.  As far as the medical field is concerned, the sense of being needed, probably comes into play. Along with the mask, of hiding their horrendous behavior. But again its speculation, and hard to fit logic into disordered.  I wish you well.  PEACE 

[charred]

I am sure there are many in medicine. My exBPDgf is a grade school music teacher. She can boss around people (kids), close her door and hide from scary adults (other teachers) and make use of her extreme emotions. She has managed to be employed for many years, and is pretty extremely disordered. Most people meeting her believe she is just very passionate.

My sister is an RN and runs across BPD (w/NPD traits) and other PD people all the time and says nurses get to be very good at spotting them. She is an ER nurse... .  however she is the one who originally set me up with her friend, my now exBPDgf, and the pwBPD has devastated my life in many ways. So one of the things I am trying to figure out is what I did to piss off my sister? Or if she really didn't know what that kind of r/s would do to me. Probably didn't know that much back then, was 20+ yrs ago.

[willy45]

I think it would be a stretch to say that 'most' are in the medical field. Mine wasn't. She is super successful in another field. But, I don't think that is necessarily a pervasive thing. I don't know. Not an expert... .  

[Seb]

My exgf, before she started her ER training in the summer, was a medical doctor on hospital wards. She hated it and would count down the days til she started in ER. She would constantly text me during the day saying how much she hated one of her co-workers, come home and bad mouth him some more. Her job means she moves about all the time, every 6 months or so there's a new job, new set of people... she even worked in Australia for a year and met me when she'd just got back.  I think she feels very restless, and doesn't attach to people or places very easily. She's always dreaming about the next big move.

Anyway, when she on a 6-month placement on a cancer ward she would often come home and cry. One day she came back home and straightaway asked for a hug because she felt "traumatised" by that day in work. I can imagine she really did feel traumatised... she had very childlike emotions, and the fact that she deals with life and death, seeing families in utter devastation everyday, its no wonder she finds it hard to cope.

She was always so fragile. She wasn't when we first met, she did a very good job of acting like the life and soul of the party. Once the idealisation phase had passed, unwittingly, I was placed in the caretaker/mother role. She was always crying about something, stressed, and used to feel like everything was getting on top of her.

When things get too much for her, her coping mechanism is to cut and run.

She's relatively high-functioning, in that she holds down a great job, and she's worked hard to get there... .  but emotionally, she's a mess. Really, I do think ER suits her. Like I said its quick turnaround, and that's what she likes... .  people, places, her life is like a revolving door.

[johnnyonthespot]

Nurse ... .  

[waitaminute]

6th house Chiron

[still_flying]

My uBPDex had no idea what he wanted to do after college, so I can't comment from the perspective of a SO, but from my experience with my BPD mom has bounced around a lot job-wise. She's always drawn to the service industry though. She says that she feels purpose in helping people.

[id-crisis]

Most of the women I know with borderline features are living in a women's domestic violence shelter.

That's interesting observation Maybeso, especially seeing as I've very recently lived in a wdvs! 

Do you work in the field? Im interested in where you get that impression?

I must admit, it's not the best environment - lots of traumatised and/or troubled women and children, trying to live in a shared environment, all strangers to one another. Many with visible, life threatening wounds, and lots of  . LOTS of    all hopping around the place 

Many of whom had a history of troubled relationships ... .  psychological problems, emotional difficulties etc etc, just as there are in any cross-section of the human race but from my  observation, I wouldn't agree with you. Yes, there's a lot of drama for lots of reasons, but I really don't think it's because the majority of them have BPD!

And then of course there were the members of staff - many of whom appeared to have issues of their own but that's a whole nother story ... .  

[GreenMango]

Please be mindful of over-generalizations regarding any population.  bpdfamily.com, as a support site, serves a diverse population and is moderated to provide a safe and welcoming environment for all members.  There are parents with children with BPD, partners with significant others, adult children with parents with BPD that come here for support and reading over-generalizations can be disrespectful and hurtful.

4.1 Over generalizing: There are many similarities in the experiences of people involved in high conflict relationships. And, when we feel emotionally wounded, we often look for vindication and validation to sooth our pain. It's easy to buy too far into this "soothing" and lose sight of our role in the conflict and struggles -- and when we do, healing and growth come slowly.

Avoid excessive use of blanket statements like "they all lie?" or posing blanket questions like "why do they all cheat?" or "what were we thinking?". It's healthier to keep your explorations and comments in the first person by phrasing things as "why did my girlfriend lie?", "why did my boyfriend cheat?", and "what was I thinking?".

Personality disorders and traits have a broad spectrum of expression and every relationship dynamic is unique, just as each of us are unique.