BPD trouble sleeping and signs of anxiety

[happiness68]

Did anyone else's BPD have trouble sleeping?  I was just thinking back at how my exbfBPD had problems with sleep most of the time, especially on the rare occasion he wasn't sleeping next to me.  I also remember how he used to pick at the skin on the sides of his fingernails towards the start of the relationship and also when he was getting himself upset about things.  I remember too how he loved holding hands (from the very start), but his hands were almost kind of sweaty.  All of these things I believe have some kind of anxiety link.

[ambi]

He can't sleep alone.  He has a giant body pillow to have something to hold and drinks until he's ready to pass out when sleeping alone. 

[seeking balance]

I have read on these boards yes to trouble sleeping and on the flipside I have read "my BPD sleeps all the time".  Again, depends on what is going on with the person overall - what part is triggered.  Many pwBPD have other diagnosis as well that could attribute to different behaviors.

  All of these things I believe have some kind of anxiety link.

you are probably right on this... .  how does this information help you in your grief and detachment process happiness68?

[pjl]

when my BPD BF was triggering he had trouble sleeping... other wise he got himself a body pillow too ,which he didn't tell me why but I knew... and yes he held my hand and still does all the time when I see him... it connects him to someone.

sweaty hands from the medicines he takes.

[FoolishOne]

She has always had trouble sleeping... .  and she's an incredible light sleeper... .  unbelieveably so.

F1

[wowjer]

my exuBPDw had a cpap machine at 29.  she didnt snore, she instead woke up 80 times a night.  they tried to call it apnea.  I called it crazy, but who am i.  I only slept next to her for 10 years. 

[LuckyEscapee]

Yes totally my experience with the poor sleeping and hands too.

[benny2]

OMG yes, he has trouble sleeping all the time and whenever I was gone. He also picked at his fingers all the time. How weird.

[happiness68]

I think this must be linked to anxiety and perhaps insecurity.  Strange how it's quite common.  I've never dated anyone so anxious and nervous as my BPD.

[Changed4safety]

Yep, insomnia and anxiety.  REALLY high anxiety.

[susanleona]

Frequent trouble sleeping.  These were the nights when he would drink and stay up all night.

[jdcthunder14]

I have read on these boards yes to trouble sleeping and on the flipside I have read "my BPD sleeps all the time".  Again, depends on what is going on with the person overall - what part is triggered.  Many pwBPD have other diagnosis as well that could attribute to different behaviors.

Agreed seeking. Mine had confirmed dx of severe anxiety and panic attacks so not surprising she would have trouble sleeping. We have to make sure we stay away from the "all" thoughts, everyone is different.

[turtle]

[We have to make sure we stay away from the "all" thoughts, everyone is different.

There are many people who have trouble sleeping that are not BPD!

That's why our pharmacies are stocked FULL of sleep aids and our TV commercials are littered with "just take this magic pill for a perfect night's sleep."  Nevermind that the "magic pill" makes you feel like crap the next day.

These threads pop up quite often where we search for commonalities.  

I think it's clear that a pwBPD is full of anxiety, but I think a good portion of the population is full of anxiety.  It's the society we live in!

I struggle with sleep quite often and it stems from the stressors of life.

I've also lived with someone with sleep issues.  It's not fun for either party!  

turtle

[PrettyPlease]

[We have to make sure we stay away from the "all" thoughts, everyone is different.

There are many people who have trouble sleeping that are not BPD!

[snip]

These threads pop up quite often where we search for commonalities.  

I think it's clear that a pwBPD is full of anxiety, but I think a good portion of the population is full of anxiety.  It's the society we live in!

These are valid and important points, but on the other hand, if we look at the DSM-5 new criteria, Anxiety is a core trait of BPD; BPD via the DSM-5 includes this (among other things of course):

"Anxiousness: Intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, or panic, often in reaction to interpersonal stresses; worry about the negative effects of past unpleasant experiences and future negative possibilities; feeling fearful, apprehensive, or threatened by uncertainty; fears of falling apart or losing control."

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=114843.0

And I've seen research linking this anxiousness to biochemical changes (ie., raised anxiety hormones) that are persistent. In other words, it may be that this trait isn't just included in the DSM-5 to say that they think themselves into an anxious state when they get triggered, but rather that they start anxious and that affects their threshold for triggering, and also affects how they think in the same way that anyone thinks differently when anxious.

So it's possible that the state of anxiety is directly involved in a lot of BPD actions, decisions, and capabilities, and being aware of this might help us be with them (and detach from them).

PP