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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Contact with ex re very ill cat; I feel lost
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Topic: Contact with ex re very ill cat; I feel lost (Read 694 times)
Changed4safety
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Living together, three and a half years
Posts: 517
Re: Contact with ex re very ill cat; I feel lost
«
Reply #30 on:
March 15, 2013, 09:20:35 AM »
It's weird but... . I am struggling with how peaceful I feel about this. I'm used to anguished wails of grief, figural chest-beating and hair-tearing, guilt, shame, and "I should haves." That's how I've always dealt with bad things before.
Is... . is this how normal people deal with things? o.O
I guess I've lived so long, first with my mother and then with my exBPD, I don't know how to be just "sad" without feeling guilt or shame or anguish. It feels... . disrespectful. I get a few "hits" during the day (opening my door and not finding him there meowing for breakfast, not seeing him curled up on the couch, not having him greet me when I come through the door and call for him when I've been out.) But mostly just peace, gratitude for having him, and a sort of excitement at the future. I'm not responsible to anyone now but myself. I feel... . like he didn't matter to me if I feel that way, but it feels so good.
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Surnia
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: Contact with ex re very ill cat; I feel lost
«
Reply #31 on:
March 15, 2013, 12:49:10 PM »
Quote from: Changed4safety on March 15, 2013, 09:20:35 AM
I'm not responsible to anyone now but myself. I feel... . like he didn't matter to me if I feel that way, but it feels so good.
Beautiful and
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
Rose Tiger
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 2075
Re: Contact with ex re very ill cat; I feel lost
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Reply #32 on:
March 19, 2013, 09:32:49 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your thoughts are very encouraging, I want to be like you when I grow up.
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