okay, so,
Not that we have been getting along very well lately anyway, but yesterday my upbdh decided to stick a nkife in a wound and twist (not literally)... I have recently gone back to school full time, and it does take time away from family. I do have some guilt associated with that (not that I have any real reason to, I am mostly home when the kids are, and they are all old enough to hanlde things for an hour or two without me.) But yesterday, I was asked to participate in somthing for church that I really would love to do, and while checking my schedule for it, he made the comment (after throwing a book across the room), "You always do what you want to do, you don want to be with your family." etc. and so forth. I did a pretty good job of tuning it out yesterday and not reacting, but it hit a nerve, because I have had guilt not being the stay at home mom I always was, who enabled laziness because I did everything (and now I pretty much do not anymore)... and I cannot help feeling terribly hurt. And it is athis dark cloud hanging over me that I cannot seem to let go.
any advice?
A common issue: many of the accusations have an element of truth.
But life is grey. Its about balance and tradeoffs. BPD's cannot do that, they can only do black and white so the accusations come out.
You know whether you are 'neglecting' your family or not (is anyone starving, cold, being abused?). If not - go do some of your own hobbies. Its critical to good health.
Dont feel guilty about it. Dont justify it. Just do it... .
(I know, easy to say and hard to do... . but that is your own work to do)
