Not doing good today ...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I can't stand this up and down.  Yesterday was a good day, I was able to stay on task, spent just a little time n the board, even went out last night, met some new people, and had a great time.  Today is awful.  I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 30 steps back.  I've been on the board all day and I just can't let go of whatever this is.  I can't even describe what it is other than a sick painful feeling inside.  I was proud of myself yesterday, today I feel like life has stopped again and I'm paralyzed.  When does it get better and stay better?   :'(

[trouble11]

I can't stand this up and down.  Yesterday was a good day, I was able to stay on task, spent just a little time n the board, even went out last night, met some new people, and had a great time.  Today is awful.  I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 30 steps back.  I've been on the board all day and I just can't let go of whatever this is.  I can't even describe what it is other than a sick painful feeling inside.  I was proud of myself yesterday, today I feel like life has stopped again and I'm paralyzed.  When does it get better and stay better?   :'(

[trevjim]

I know what you mean, I have days where I feel I have turned a corner and I'm doing great, and then the next I'm close to tears about her. Its crazy!

[seeking balance]

I can't stand this up and down.  Yesterday was a good day, I was able to stay on task, spent just a little time n the board, even went out last night, met some new people, and had a great time.  Today is awful.  I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 30 steps back.  I've been on the board all day and I just can't let go of whatever this is.  I can't even describe what it is other than a sick painful feeling inside.  I was proud of myself yesterday, today I feel like life has stopped again and I'm paralyzed.  When does it get better and stay better?   :'(

You are right where you are supposed to be - try to be gentle with yourself and trust that it will get better.

This quote seems appropriate right now for you - from Cross Roads.

"The hurt is real and true... .  transformation without work and pain, without suffering, without a sense of loss is just an illusion of true change."

You are changing Trouble11 - this is a good thing.

Peace,

SB

[Changed4safety]

*gentle hugs*  I am sorry it is a rough day for you.  Most of us are well familiar with the up and downs of this.  It is really more like a "death," the death of the relationship, of hope, than of a normal breakup.  When this happens to me I remember that I DID have a good day, that I was CAPABLE of having a good day, and I will again. 

[trouble11]

Thank you SB and C4S,  So my adult (28yo) son is going to move in next week and live with me for awhile.  On one hand I think it will help as I will be forced to get up and live like a normal person, as I won't let him see me like this. ie In my robe till noon on a BPD board and crying.   OTH ... .  I don't want not dealing with it to bite me later.

[Vatz]

Hey, it's going to hurt for a while. But you have to pull through it. Remember that you it's done and you can't look back.

It's going to get better, and you'll get through this. You have to.