Does toddler logic help deal with them?

[Moonie75]

If BPD sufferers are emotionally under developed & in sound ways stuck in a childlike state, does thinking like toddler help manage dealing with them?

Such as, a toddler is so excited by new toy, plays with it with great delight & enthusiasm before slowly becoming bored. Toy is now pretty much redundant as another new toy/toys have come along. Then when the redundant toy is no longer there & option to play with it all over again is gone, they want that toy like their life depends on it! And whether the toy I'd recycled or not dictates whether we (the toy) goes through the process all over again. Each time the toy's recycled its more worn & battered until eventually it breaks!

Fun over.

The toddler isn't cruel or spiteful, just a toddler being a toddler. Love toy, bored of it now, miss it, want toy back, play with toy again... .  But each time comes back the boredom comes back slightly quicker each time too. Cycle gets quicker & quicker to evolve (possible because toy is getting more & more worn out).

Is this the best way to understand what's happened to me & what I've been through? It's helping me by viewing it like that, but if my views incorrect or not accurate please explain where my analogy falls down.

God I'm do glad this Forums here I don't know how I'd cope without it.

[WT]

I think that you've got it down 100%.  Besides the boredom aspect of this toddler state, there's also the splitting, where everything can only be either black or white with no in-between.  Toddlers don't understand the gray area, so you're either a hero or a villain.

[Moonie75]

And what happens when the toy is gone, because somebody wants to love that you meaningfully, healthily & truly?

My guess (& experience of toddlers that can't have what they want), is that the toddler that wore the toy to breaking point kicks right off, causes lots of problems & all hell breaks out?

[Clearmind]

Somewhat! You would be right in thinking that you were needed for a while – your analogy is loosely how it is for the Borderline.

What is happening to you maybe a different – the BPD/’non’ dynamic is a complex one that is a little more involved than your partner getting bored and you being discarded.

Some of us have co-dependent tendencies – causing us to ignore the red flags and the roller coaster ride and viewing it as a love match.

When the partner is gone another they are quickly replaced. They need someone to Mirror.

[turtle]

"Toddler logic" does help to a degree.

You have to ask yourself though... .  do you want a relationship where you have to use "toddler logic" ever... .  for any reason?

turtle

[Moonie75]

Are we ever devalued & discarded before the replacement is found? I'd love to know the stats for that! I find it rather unlikely if I'm honest.

My old dad always used to say "monkeys don't let go of a branch till they've got hold of the next one!"

God love him.

[almost789]

Moonie,

Yes I believe your right. Thank you for the explanation. Ive also heard of it like this. We are a tool, such as a new working lawn mower works great brand new everythings woderful with the new lawn mower,  then after a bit of use the mower starts to break down (or we start to expect more, criticize... .  ect) now the mowers broke. A normal person may try to work on it a bit and get it working again. A BPD will say damn broken mower, ill go get a new one.

[broken but not beaten]

Kicking off when the toy gets bored and moved on is a great description,ex gf did just that when I met someone,I saw the spite and fury close up,threatened blackmailing me in work if I didn't move because she wanted it and didn't want my new gf and I to have the 'love' she percieved we had. I did go back to uBPD ex gf,lasted 8 weeks and she got bored again told me I didn't deswrve her,I now see her as a child throwing a temper tantrum,I don't understand if you want someone be with them,if not let them move one... .  totally mind boggling,I'm no better a person when we first me and no worse a person no we have seperated

[atcrossroads]

"Toddler logic" does help to a degree.

You have to ask yourself though... .  do you want a relationship where you have to use "toddler logic" ever... .  for any reason?

turtle

Ding, ding, ding!