placing blame from the 1st date?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

i was trying to think back to how things were between me and my exgf with BPD and trying to identify things i overlooked.

how soon did you guys start seeing some of the symptoms?

i can now recall, as soon as a day after our 1st date, she started soem nonsense argument with me about how the girl is never ever supposed to pay. (i saw this as extreme, i figured the girl should at least offer but yeah the guy should pay most of the time) but i remember her over-reacting about it

do they yell and pass blame even in the idealization phase?

though i'm not sure if i even went through an idealization phase cause she was seeing someone else at the time i later learned... .  

[fakename]

i was trying to think back to how things were between me and my exgf with BPD and trying to identify things i overlooked.

how soon did you guys start seeing some of the symptoms?

i can now recall, as soon as a day after our 1st date, she started soem nonsense argument with me about how the girl is never ever supposed to pay. (i saw this as extreme, i figured the girl should at least offer but yeah the guy should pay most of the time) but i remember her over-reacting about it

do they yell and pass blame even in the idealization phase?

though i'm not sure if i even went through an idealization phase cause she was seeing someone else at the time i later learned... .  

[owdrs]

I was approached by her in a bar, we exchanged numbers, and I called her 3 days later. She scolded me for not calling earlier and seemed genuinely mad at me. I laughed it off... .  I was just looking for some fun. I should have known better.

owdrs

[fakename]

i think i have to admit in the beginning, it was just cause i was horny and i thought she was hot that i pursued it.  i didn't really care that much for her as a person or her personality.  but then i got sucked in and fell in 'love'... .  

[trevjim]

I met up with her as a friend as she was having problems, she said that day that "we would be having sex within two weeks".

I was hooked from then on

[Leaf]

First date – Great, and he is so handsome!

Second date – He was a bit distant, a lot less eye contact

Third date – He had adviced me to do something, I told him I hadn't done it yet because I had been too busy. Before we left the bar I went to the ladies and when I got back he had already left. I didn't know that, I waited, asked the bar tender... .  Later he told me that he had left because I hadn't done what he said.

Nothing but  from the start. I was fresh out of my previous bad relationship, love and sex starved, and I wanted to brake my pattern, to get out of my comfort zone, I thought the red flags marked the edge of my comfort zone, they did 

By the way, a couple of weeks ago I was at the gym, I looked up because someone invaded my personal space and I got this dagger like eye contact   from a handsome guy that reminded me of my ex, I recognized it instantly: BPD eyes! I didn't know how fast to look the other way.

I'll have to work on myself so I can stop being a magnet for men with a personality disorder. I'm pretty old but before my previous bad relationship I never encountered one. I guess I looked very needy.