I guess my question really is, do i keep my mouth shut and just go along for the bumpy ride or is it worth me saying anything at all.
Just wanting her to "know the score" and remember the horrible things she said doesn't really help either of you. I'd suggest that you try to detach and let that go if you can.
I'd suggest that you try to get out of those raging situations as soon as possible before she says much that you might wonder if you should remind her of. If you leave before these things are said, you don't feel the hurt, and she doesn't have anything to apologize for. Win-win!
As for stuff like spending money intended for vacation... . you do have to say something about that, but be careful on how you do it. There is lots of wonderful stuff in
the lessons on this board. You can find them in a sticky post at the top of this board or in the right sidebar. Explaining that the money for the vacation is already gone (because she spent it) would be a good application for the communications technique S.E.T. There is a workshop about it in the Lessons.